Scanning the past

 

I am feeling back to normal and my last COVID home test was negative. I feel free to wander the planet once again.

While in self-imposed quarantine I sort of kicked myself into working on a long-range project that’s been nagging me for some time - scanning in old print photographs from the 70s, 80s, and 90s.* 

Residing in 3-ring photo album binders in the guest bedroom closet, these hundreds of snapshots both bring me joy and haunt me. Images of my first wedding, college days, early jobs, various travels, and celebrations bring smiles to my face as I carefully pull them from the sticky pages of the photo albums and place them on the scanner glass. Nothing gladdens my heart more than photos of my daughter and son as babies, toddlers, and elementary schoolers. Without exception, we all look like we are having joyful times eating, playing, reading, and just messing around. Often accompanied by friends and grandparents, both my children seemed to be well fed, clothed, cared for, nurtured, and loved.

Yet I cannot but also reflect on how I might have been a better parent. My marriages to their mothers did not last and both kids lived in two separate homes during much of their childhoods. Should I have encouraged or insisted they participate in more sports or clubs or other extra-curricular activities? Was I there for them when they were worried or sad or insecure? Did they get hugs and attention when they needed them the most? Do other parents have such worries?

Thankfully, both my children are now kind, loving, and responsible adults who still talk to and spend some time with their father.. Was this because of their childhoods - or despite them?

I still have a couple weeks worth of scanning to do. Were I really responsible, I would add tags to the photos telling the dates, places, and circumstances of each shot. I am operating under the assumption that my relatives and friends will want access to these memories. One day, I am sure, the physical pieces of paper these images occupy will be buried deep in a landfill, the subjects on them only vaguely known or cared about. Not being either a notorious criminal nor world leader, I do not expect a place in any history. But the digital images most probably will remain in some remote server.  Perhaps AI when it takes over the world can make use of them.

Oh, another project I have vowed to complete is what I am calling “My Happy 100.” I am going to go back through all my old photos and select 100 of them in which I am happy. I will place these in a slideshow to be shown at my funeral or memorial service or whatever gathering (if there is one). The problem will not be finding 100 photos; it will be selecting them from so many happy times.

*For me, photography went digital in 2001. About the time my first grandson was born.

Comments

[nbgreene]

If your children are kind, loving, and responsible, then you did a good job. Congratulations on being a good father!