Engagement Filter

From exhibit booth 3516 (If I remember) at NECC:

NEW from RATFInc.
(Reasonably Accurate Technology Filtering Incorporated)

Tired of your students learning rather than paying attention to you, the teacher?

Then get your school to install the Engagement Filter, guaranteed to take enough enjoyment out of online activities that students will no longer be tempted to use the school's computers or network.

You can block categories by the "types" below:

Our company updates its black list on a daily basis, identifying those sites that are shown to be more interactive than the adults in your school.

Delay complete irrelevance now, before it is too late.

Act today and we'll throw in two tech categories guaranteed of student interest that have not yet been invented!

 I'm getting me one of these! I wonder if I install it at home, the LWW will pay more attention to me too?

My only concern is that some sites kids like will not be blocked. Any suggestion for things that need to be added to the filtered list?

So how cold is it?

-15 this Monday morning here in southern Minnesota. But balmy compared to some parts of the state. Here is a old chestnut:

COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU? (Author unknown.)
 60 above zero

Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens. 

50 above zero

Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero

Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

20 above zero

Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero

People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero

Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero

Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero

Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the minivan.

460 below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale)

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Minnesota start saying, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?" 

500 below zero

Hell freezes over.
Vikings win the SuperBowl. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

A little Minnesota advice for keeping warm...

Even if it makes your hips look fat, dress for the weather.

Find things to do to take your mind off the cold.

 

Store up food.

Make reading a group activity.

Stay warm! - Doug 

Story with a lesson

I don't usually re-post jokes on this blog, but I like the message of this one...

On a busy boulevard, a stressed out woman was tailgating an honest man.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow directly in front of him. He did the correct thing. He stopped at the crosswalk even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman went ballistic, pounded on the horn, dropped her makeup and cell phone, and screamed in frustration and was swearing a blue streak as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated 'Christian Fish' emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

 

Yes, it's your WWJD thong...