OCB: Obsessive Compulsive Benefits

OCD: short for obsessive-compulsive disorder. INFORMAL: having a tendency towards excessive orderliness, perfectionism, and great attention to detail. (Oxford Languages)

OCB: short for obsessive-compulsive benefits. INFORMAL: using orderliness, perfection and attention to detail to improve one’s life. (Blue Skunk blog)

It’s good to keep track of your fitness efforts. But can one go too far? Become obsessive?

For about 30 years, I’ve been going to the local Y and doing weights three times a week. The picture above shows the machines I do and number of reps. Nothing that, so far, has given me a Schwartzenger-like physique. I started doing weights to complement the four mile walks I do on alternate days after reading an article in some health magazine that after age 40 men supposedly lose about 5% of their muscle mass each year. I found that frightening so I joined the Y, got a quick intro to the weight machines, and became compulsive about not just doing the reps, but recording the workouts.

After so many years of doing more or less the same exercises, I don’t really need a written reminder of the machines, the weights or the number of reps I do. But I keep one anyway. See below:

An 8.5x11 self-printed sheet like the one above will last me about 30 weeks. I keep it tucked into the file space provided for Y members to keep such records (along with a couple hidden ball-point pens) and happily carry it with me from machine to machine recording my ”progress.”

This activity makes me wonder if I am not somewhere on the OCD spectrum - obsessively recording data that really doesn’t need to be written down. I just toss these sheets once filled, after all. In saying this, I do not wish to trivialize how impactful OCD can be for many people - it can be serious and debilitating. I’ve known a couple hoarders personally and their compulsions have been detrimental to their happiness, if not their ability to function. 

But might a little OCD actually be OCB - with the B standing for beneficial? Somehow filling out the sheet above when I exercise is motivational. Subliminally, I wonder if an exercise not recorded, really doesn’t count. How would I feel if I saw many days had gone by between workouts? What if my ability to do a certain weight went down? And somehow there is just a comfort in carrying my little sheet of paper and pen with me from machine to machine.

To be honest, I probably have a few other OCD tendencies. I am religious about recording my time and distance on my walks/hikes using MapMyWalk on my phone (and not really happy with myself when I forget to restart the program after a break). I record my bike rides too. Each time I fill my car with gas, I manually calculate my mileage: Number of miles driven/number of gallons used. Yes, my car keeps a running record of mileage, but I still do this each fill. And when I put gas in the car, I always make sure the final cost is a number in which the last number before the decimal point is the same as the last number of the total price: $18.38, $26.96, etc. Bonus points if both sides match ($32.32). I tell myself this is so I know it is me who used my credit card to get gas. But maybe it is just being weird. I like all my shirts facing the same direction when hanging in the closet, with dress shirts grouped with dress shirts, flannel shirts with flannel shirts, etc. I record all my regular expenses each month in a spreadsheet, as well as my income. I track my investments monthly. I believe in the Oxford comma. I shop from a grocery list. I solve the Jumbles in each morning’s newspaper without fail.

I don’t see how any of these quirks degrades my quality of life - or the lives of others. And I like the feelings of orderliness that these routines generate. But it is probably good to recognize that such behaviors may be seen by others as odd.

But I am sticking with them.

Expectations vs. hopes

Image source https://society6.com/product/hope-is-the-thing-with-feathers-ed3_print

Much of life consists of uncertain outcomes. Which side will win a ball game? Will I get to work on time? Will the vacation go as planned? Will my health remain good? Will a friend want to stay friends? Will this new recipe be edible? Uncertainty ranges from the trivial to the profound, from controllable to completely willy-nilly.

It’s taken me many years, but I have come to realize a “hope” mindset makes for a happier life than an “expectation” mindset. By “hoping” something happens, one acknowledges one’s limitations. While I can be deliberate about my planning and preparation, be realistic in my predicted outcomes; and be thoughtful in my words and actions - thus improving the odds of things turning out well - there is no such thing as a sure bet. La mierda sucede.

When my expectations are too high, karma looks over my shoulder and often decides to cut me down a notch or two. One’s ego is often a big part when expecting an outcome. (The waiter will give ME top notch service because I am a valued customer!)

When my hopes are high, I am pleased when things turn out as well as they do. Good things happen regardless of one’s station or self-importance. (The waiter gave us great service tonight despite how understaffed the restaurant was. What a great guy he was!)

In anticipating with hope instead of expectation, I can focus on the wins in my life rather than the disappointments. And being content with what I have, who I am, and accepting fate for what it may bestow on me, might just be the key to genuine happiness.

Just random ruminations from an old fart...

The family calendar - redux

My niece's husband and my great-nephew get a month on the 2022 calendar 

I was ready to write a post about creating the family calendar. Then I discovered I had already done so:

I've spent some time this week putting together the family calendar - something I've done now since about 2004. Originally I created it in a calendar program and then printed it at a Kinkos on cardstock, but I now use Shutterfly. I've kept the same content formula - "scanned photos of long-gone relatives and baby pictures of my siblings and I are mixed with digital photos from family events from the past year.”

Creating a calendar is a powerful form of reflection for me. The end of the year, familiar gatherings, new children and friends, and the loss of people who may have been a long part of my life, all put me in a bittersweet mood. We cannot, of course, stop the world from turning and would not want it to stop revolving even if we could. As much as I loved my children and grandchildren as babies, I love them even more now as adults and fast growing children and adolescents. Some old and treasured traditions continued; some became impractical; and new ones were forged.

I expect Christmas 2016 will not be dissimilar because not only do those around us change, but we ourselves do as well: becoming wiser or more foolish, healthier or less abled, more giving or more selfish, and braver or more fearful. Opportunities will arise, as will disappointments. Most years I am lucky enough to find a book or take a trip that impacts my life and thinking in a very substantial, personal, permanent way. And I am happy for that. Calendar creation - a time for reflection, Blue Skunk, 12-19-15.

Perhaps the world of 2021 has not really been as different as I might have thought. Fewer family get-togethers, of course. Less travel than desired (but some still). More free time. But as I predicted back in 2015, there were both opportunities and disappointments; good books and good trips; continued relationships with friends and relatives; no deaths or serious illnesses in the family. Both my grandsons are now old enough to drive and are aging out of Scouting. My son and his wife are now home owners. My house has new siding and freshly painted woodwork and doors.

The family calendar this year, I hope, fills the same purpose that it always has - to give my family members pleasant reminders of the previous year. My niece's growing family, my grandson’s marching band experiences, and a “who’s who” of cats in the family are among this year’s monthl.

I suspect in a few years, I will dig this calendar out, take a look, and think, “Maybe 2021 wasn’t all that bad a year after all.” And helps me reflect on how truly blessed I am…