It was when my generation, the boomers, began flexing our
public voice and political power that the term "generation gap" came
into popular use. Our hair styles, political values and even life-views
seemed wildly different from those of our parents who had been children
during the Great Depression. My shameful insistence on wearing
bell-bottom jeans and allowing my hair to touch the collar of my shirt
was a bone of contention between my parents and me. Dad was more of an
unmerciful teaser about such matters than autocrat, and I remember
getting my haircut for my 1970 high school graduation when eventually
my mother cried out of frustration over the matter. Coolness was not
worth making one's mom weep.
Strangely though, I believe the gap
(or gorge) between my son and me is greater than it was between my my
father and me, though perhaps less obvious. Look up Net
Generation in the dictionary (oops, make that Wikipedia), and you will
find Brady's picture. But he's not made me cry.
Music is one thing which divides us, as it has recent generations. But our difference in music go well beyond simple taste.
While
the electric guitars, rock and roll, and drug-referenced lyrics I loved
were all off-putting to my dad, we both listened to music in the same
way - on LPs (or 45s) or on the AM radio station. There was no
disagreement that one purchased music. That one listened to music as it
was played by the artist. That one felt blessed when just the right
song was played at just the right time when "parking" on a lonely road
late at night with one's girl friend. Yes, 'Hey, Jude" or "Close to
You" could get you to first base. Our musical experiences, Dad's and mine, in the end, were not vastly different.
My
son caught the tail end of CD purchasing. But since he was 16, he's had
an iPod and only purchased songs online. Music is not a physical object
(my vinyl disk) to him, but a file, endlessly duplicable and
transferable. The right song at the right time is his now up to him,
not the DJ's. It's the right "mix" that gets the girl in a romantic
mood today, I'm guessing. Or he'll go one step beyond making a mix,
remixing song parts or combining them with visual images or
text or programming. Music is not an object, but a substance from
which objects are made.
We have different views of
music ownership as well. I did not buy "the rights to use an audio
recording." Hell, I bought a record - a thing. If I stole it from the
store, it was stolen. I had it; the store did not. Intellectual
property did not factor in. For my son, music is not something one can
hold in one's hand. That can get scratched or melt if left in the back
window of the car. The expression "sounds like broken record" doesn't,
well, track. The property aspect of music for Brady seems to be
more fluid, less bound by strict rules of ownership. He
understands and respects the need for an artist to be compensated for
his work. But he's looser about things than I ever would be.
Finally,
music seems a more private than public entertainment to him than me.
While I listen via air molecules stirred up by speakers, Brady is
usually attached to his music through ear buds. I have to think about
the tastes and needs of others who may be sharing my audio space; Brady
doesn't.
I believe Brady and I see other things quite
differently as well - books, movies, work, school, and friendships to
name a few. His attitude shaped so much by personal communication
technologies. I love the child dearly. I respect him. I believe he is a
good person. But he is strange to me.
I'm not sure what the
impact of all of this is. Different generations have different values
and the world seems to keep on turning. I am just not sure generational
differences have ever been so subtle...or so deep.
Of course the gorge between Brady and any sons he may one day have has every chance of being even greater.
Friday, February 17, 2006 at 02:13PM 
