When outcome becomes more important than process

... this generation of highly accomplished, college-bound students have been robbed of their independence because they have been raised in a petri dish for one purpose only: to attend an elite college that ensures their and their families' economic and social status. Instead of being nurtured towards real curiosity and a genuine sense of citizenship, these millennials are conditioned to think that everything they do is for the purpose of looking good in the eyes of admissions officers and employers: you earn good grades not because they mean you are learning something, but rather because they will help you stand out from your peers when applying to the Ivies. You engage in community service not because you wish genuinely to make a positive difference in the lives of others but rather because that is how you burnish your resume -- service as check-off box. You play sports not because they build character and teamwork and are a whole lot of fun, but because you want to try to get recruited for a college team. You study art or music not because you wish to refine your understanding of human nature, creativity and culture but because it will help you look smarter. Michael Mulligan The Three Most Important Questions You Can Ask Your Teenager HuffPo, Jan 20, 2015

Long time educator, Michael Mulligan asks why so many of today's kids are depressed, despite their affluence, their sense of social responsibility, and their ambition. After painting a compelling case that we have "raised a generation that is plagued with insecurity, anxiety and despair," Mulligan summarizes: 

... when we teach our children that outcomes are more important than process they lose the ability to enjoy learning for its own sake. Everything becomes about the end-game. The problem is that the end game - whether it turns out as they anticipated or not - is often not intrinsically rewarding."

So what's the fix? The author suggests that instead of questioning kids about grades, teams, awards, and other extrinsic measures of success, we need to help them answer 1) Who tells us who we are?, 2) Where do we want to go with our lives, and 3) How do we want to get there?

Should this advice hold true for teachers and guidance counselors as well as parents?

Not surprisingly, I learned of this article from my daughter via a Facebook share. Coming from a family that enjoys respectable but not especially high social standing (cripes, her mother and I are both in education after all), perhaps it is easier to raise children who do not simply see education as a means of attaining or maintaining wealth and power. Carrie, her husband, and her boys seem to be a pretty happy crew and I would imagine that indirectly they ask my grandsons Mulligan's three questions often. These boys get good grades, they participate in music and sports, and are active in church and scouting. When they do community service, I rather doubt it will be for a little extra gloss on the Harvard application form. Thank goodness.

Read Mulligan's post.

Be kind

 

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
                                          George Saunders’s Advice to Graduates

I would agree with Scott McLeod that one of the best posts I've read for a long time is Give the kid a pencil by Chad Donohue on the Teaching Tolerance blog. He writes about a grad class discussing: "If a student shows up to class without a pencil, how should the teacher respond?" He writes:

Small groups collaborated for a few minutes. Ultimately, they came up with plans involving taking something (a shoe?) from the student as collateral to remind the student about the importance of having supplies, notifying parents and even assigning classroom cleanup duty or lunch detention.

“What about you, Prof?” they asked.

“I would give the kid a pencil,” I said.

“You mean the first time?” someone asked.

“Every time,” I said.

Why, as educators, as parents, as supervisors, do we think we have to be such hard asses all the time? "Give'm an inch and they'll take a mile" seems to be the going sentiment among a lot of people.

Come on, let's...

• Give the kid a pencil - everytime.
• Let the kid check out another book even if he has one overdue.
• Cut the kid some slack if he forgets to charge his iPad.
• Turn a blind eye if the para needs to go home to take care of a sick kid.
• Empathize when a tech makes a mistake.

I like responsible people. I really do. But I rather doubt being an ass ever made anyone behave better.

Be kind. We do tend to do behave and perform better for those we love...

And while you're at it, practice a little self-forgiveness as well.

See also:

• Niceness - a secret weapon
• Making kindness my goal

My endorsement policy - just a reminder

On any normal day, I probably get 3 or 4 emails asking if I would be interested in a study, a product, or a service and (usually not explicitly) would I please write about this stuff on my blog. Would you like a guest post? Would you like to contact our marketing representative? Many of the mail merged e-mails are nearly convincing.

Talk about scraping the bottom of the social barrel to want to connect to the Blue Skunk. Makes me feel almost sorry for these poor entrepreneurs. Almost

 Had I honored some of these requests, perhaps I'd be living on my own private island right now with so much money in the Caymans that I would even vote Republican. Oh, the roads not taken...

But I doubt it. For now I will stick with my long standing endoresement policy which I again share below.

Product Endorsement Policy for the Blue Skunk and my presentations

• I will not endorse or mention a product (at least without a heavy-duty disclaimer) which I don't have experience using in our district. This is important. While the product itself might look very cool, it's only through experience that one learns about little things like support, compatibility, bug fixes, situational customizations, and unintended consequences of use.
• I will not accept any form of remuneration for reviewing or writing about a product. (Exception listed below.) This includes trips, gifts, cash, cars, call girls or dictatorships of small countries. Not that any of these things have actually been offered to me.
• I don't take paid advertising on my blog or website.
• I don't accept unsolicited guest blogs from commercial enterprises.
• I don't wear t-shirts, baseball caps, or underwear with corporate logos. (I do have a hip flask with the ALA logo on it, however.)
• I do write "blurbs" for books and/or products that I've actually read or used and liked.
• My recommendations are my personal recommendations - not my school district's.

I suppose there are other guidelines I should set for myself. That readers trust my objectivity is important to me.

Now there is one big caveat to all of this. If the price were right, I would probably say just about anything. I am thinking $100K would pay off the mortgage, allow me to fill up both family motor vehicles at the same time, and get the LWW that new garbage disposal she's been pining for. Cool.

There is an old joke about a man who approaches a woman in a bar and offers her a staggering amount of money if she will sleep with him. She accepts. Then the man offers her five dollars if she will sleep with him. The woman responds, "Just what kind of a woman do you think I am?" The man responds, "I think we both know that. We're just negotiating the price."

I suspect it's good for my professional reputation I work in education where the profit margin is so small that the temptations just aren't that tempting...

Doug Johnson, July 2008