Library lunch club post

Guusje Moore was asked in a reader's comment about her "Library Lunch Club." She posted this blog entry <http://guusjem.blogspot.com/2010/07/library-lunch-club.html> for anyone interested.

Is Guusje a member of your PLN?

Photo from Guusje's blog.

This week's Back Story in Newsweek

I can't find this online so I am just pasting a part of the scanned page (yes, I still subscribe to print magazines - don't hold it against me). It's worth finding the the whole page. Hint - check your library.

Newsweek, July 26, 2010

A heart-felt column by Leslie Yoder

I recognize that this is off-topic for the Blue Skunk, but I wanted to share [with permission] this column written by my friend (and state school library organization past-president), Leslie Yoder. The letter is in response to an ultra-conservative column against gay marriage by the columnist, Kathrine Kersten. No matter what your position on this issue, this is a great example of the power of a personal story, especially when well told. - Doug

http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentary
Last update: July 22, 2010 - 6:45 PM

What would Kersten do, in my shoes?  By LESLIE YODER

Two gay children -- one of them is raising a family, and the other someday might. How can that be so feared?

Valentine's Day 2004. My husband is checking phone messages. Suddenly, he hands me the phone. "Sit down,'' he says. "You need to listen to this."

Alix, my 24-year-old daughter, has left messages from her home in San Francisco: "I don't know if you are watching the news, but Holly and I just waited three hours in line at City Hall for a marriage certificate." And then, "Mom, we just got married!"

A bittersweet mixture of feelings overwhelms me: surprise, happiness, sadness that my firstborn and only daughter has married and I wasn't there.

I knew Alix was gay from about the time she was in junior high. She struggled with the reality but did not want to discuss her sexuality with me, so I helped her find counseling to work through her fears. She made use of school and community resources as well.

In columnist Katherine Kersten's world ("Gay-marriage efforts build, ominously," July 18), the issue of gay marriage is black-and-white. Her writing about it is filled with hyperbole and fear-mongering. I can't help wondering what would happen if a gay child invaded her world.

What would Kersten do? Would she disown the wayward child?

In March 2004, the California Supreme Court halted the San Francisco weddings, and a few months later my daughter and her partner received a letter declaring their marriage "a legal nullity and void from its inception."

How would Kersten feel? Would she be happy about this?

"A legal nullity." The commitment, however, is real. That year we celebrated it with family and friends -- twice -- first on the West Coast and later here in Minnesota.

With Charlie, my youngest child, it was different: It is the 2003 high-school basketball season, and we are at one of his games. He is called for a personal foul. "That's OK, ref!'' a woman shouts from the bleachers. "He likes to hold hands with boys!" The voice belongs to the mother of one of his friends.

One rainy night the previous spring, Charlie had asked me to join him for a walk. The last thing I expected was the announcement that he is gay. Caught off-guard, I did not earn any Mother of the Year awards. The first words out of my mouth were: "Are you sure?" And then: "But you'd have made such a good dad." Ever the wise soul, Charlie countered with: "What makes you think I'm not going to be a dad?"

What would Kersten do? Would she tell her son that fatherhood is not an option?

I love my children. I like and respect the adults they have become. My struggle with their sexuality is not about homophobia. It's about battle fatigue from the relentless judgment of people like Katherine Kersten.

"Chaotic" is how I describe my own childhood. My story of alcoholic parents and foster homes is not a pretty one; I've worked hard to be a good mother, to create a stable home for my three children. I also wanted a "normal" life for myself. Being the mother of two gay kids was not part of my plan.

Life became richer and more complex when Alix and Holly decided to become parents. When my husband and I told friends and relatives that we were about to become grandparents for the first time, we received brief congratulations -- and then questions: "Why?" "Who?" "How?"

At times it was annoying. But I understood. I had asked the same questions when I heard the good news.

How would Kersten react? Would the child be unloved?

When I was growing up in the 1960s, our culture was undergoing a sea change. The same thing is happening now. Rather than reacting in fear, we need to consider stepping in and gaining some understanding of the real people involved.

Then perhaps people like Kersten might be able to see my Alix and my Charlie in the same approving way they would see my straight son, Ben, who got married last summer to a lovely young woman.

I wish that Kersten could meet Alix and Holly and their 15-month-old son. I wish she could see their love and strong bond as a family. I wish she could see how the three of them, looking nothing like a "traditional" family, epitomize America's core values of love, trust and security.

Could she then tell me to my face that these young people did not deserve the dignity of marriage and the equal rights that come with it?

Leslie Yoder is a teacher in St. Paul.