A pathetic list of reasons for paper books

Perhaps it's just depression over losing our sub zero temps here in Minnesota, but little things have been annoying me lately. Here's one.
In 10 Things a Kindle Can't Do That a Hardcover Book Can, Connie Francis* lists:
- Finding a mate
- Making friends
- Judging people
- Impromptu blocks (propping up table legs)
- Pressing flowers
- Completing a costume
- A weapon
- Impromptu toilet paper
- Bug killer
- Making friends with author
These were listed after the usual "Ooooh, I just love the feel, smell, taste, etc of printed books" rhapsody.
Really, we should keep buying paper books just in case the stall is out of TP? Print lovers, judging by this list, you're getting desperate. Ms Francis, if this were written tongue-in-cheek, you were far too subtle for me.
Now compare the list above to my friend Vicki Davis's 11 Reasons E-books Can Improve Your Life:
- Highlights and Notes.
- Search.
- Portability.
- Shareability.
- Connectedness.
- Organization.
- Readability.
- Learning.
- Availability.
- Price.
- Opportunity.
Wow - actual educational benefits. Ms Davis, I would add to your list privacy (my classmates can't see what I am reading) and security (I can lose the reader, but the book will remain in the cloud).
One of the major challenges our district will face in being able to take full advantage of e-books is acquiring the physical devices needed so all students have 24/7 access to them. We'll be testing cheapie Android tablets this spring to see if there is a workable alternative to a $300 iPad.
Oh, you can smash a spider with your Kindle. Just do it gently.
* Not sure if this is the "Where the Boys Are" chanteuse or not.