Can one be kind and still create change?

General Rule #2: It’s always, always, always better to be a nice person than an ass. You will make mistakes at home and on the job. So keep this in mind: People will forgive your mistakes if you are generally a nice person; they never forget them if you behave like an ass.  Machines Are the Easy Part; People Are the the Hard Part.

I've been asked to give my talk "Change from the Radical Center of Education" a couple times this spring. The focus of the workshop is about making change with humanity and empathy. One slide speaks about why one should be kind during times of change and what that looks like.  From "A Secret Weapon - Niceness":

1. Having great listening skills.
This is tough for guys. (We are, after all, guys.) I can offer advice even before I know the dimension of the problem. But I know that hearing people out is sometimes even more important than being able to help. Harvey Mackay, a business columnist states:  “You’ll know you’ve attained your goal (of being a good listener) when you can utter two sentences in an hour-long conversation, and the other speaker thanks you for input and adds, ‘You always have so much to say!’” That’s my goal.
2. Being empathetic.
A former principal who had been a guidance counselor had this system for dealing with people who were upset. He would paraphrase their statements and ask if what he just said was what they meant until they would respond with, “Yes, that is exactly what I mean.” It was only then that he knew the other person was listening and there could be a conversation. Try it sometime – it works.
3. Assuming any request is possible.
I love people whose automatic response to an idea is “anything is possible.” Now the following conversation might involve the nitty-gritty details about while although that idea may be possible it may not be advisable or describe some of the implementation challenges. But I appreciate the positive attitude. (I also like being treated as though I have a functioning brain and being given the respect of a good explanation when something can’t be done. Citing “policy” does not qualify as a good explanation.)
4. Responding in a timely manner.
We coach our tech staff to always respond to e-mails and phone calls in as timely a manner as possible. Even if it is only to say, “I got your message and I will be there on  _________” or “I don’t know the answer to your problem, but I am working on it.” Putting off responding to people never makes things better, only worse.
5. Looking for the win/win solution.
This is still the best of Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” As he reminds us, a good course of action is never giving in or even compromising, but continuing to talk it over until both parties agree that the action is a “win.” Keep searching for the “third way.”  It is always there.
6. Giving the benefit of the doubt.
Library media specialists who give kids the benefit of the doubt have a special place in my heart. The response to the assertion “I brought the book back last week” should be a trip to stacks, not a dirty look. I’ve found too many books that somehow failed to get back checked in to suspect the veracity of any student.
7. Passing on compliments.
The teacher, the administrator or parent who lets me know when one of my staff did something nice for them puts the person offering the compliments on my list of nice people.
8. Analyzing before emoting.
I’ve found that a short temper has never worked in my favor – ever. In fact, when somebody gets me mad, they have “won.” Diligently practice the common definition of a diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing  - and then tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Lately, I've spent a lot of time wondering if I've been following my own advice.  Our district is asking teachers to make a number of major changes this coming year: switching from laptops to desktops+tablets; making GoogleDocs not Office the supported productivity suite; implementing beau coup iPads throughout the district; replacing textbooks with district-created online materials organized in Moodle in our middle school social studies classes. Changes, I believe, that are in the best long-term interests of staff, students, and the district.

A lot of change, a lot of discomfort, a little resistance from teaching staff. 

May I remember to always respond to the push-back with respect, with patience, and, well, with kindness. 

Image source

Japanese illiteracy

Sunday afternoon Tokyo time sitting in the Delta business lounge of Narita airport which feels sorta like my second home. Flight doesn't go for a couple hours so I get a chance to think a bit about this interesting trip, my first time in Japan outside the airport.

I would consider this one of the most language-difficult places I've visited. A very low percentage of signs are in English as well as Japanese (better in the tourist areas) and I found very few fluent English speaking natives, even in the service industries. Although I am sure I had much better luck in this regard than any hapless tourist who tries to find a Japanese speaker in Minnesota. 

Despite feeling totally illiterate for about a week (perhaps a good empathy builder), I found the place fascinating. A few photos and observations below...

Yes, my nightmares about public transit were well founded. The board above greeted me on arrival at Haneda airport - the "close and convenient" airport. Overconfident after a conversation with my seat mate on the flight, I decided to jump into the mass transit system instead of taking a taxi to my hotel. After one nice lady actually got off the train car and walked me to the correct platform, I made it to the Shinjuku train station before the trains stopped running around midnight. At the station, I gave up and took a taxi to the hotel. My only taxi ride of my stay. By the end of the week, I was feeling pretty good about using the trains and subways - but I still gave myself an extra hour to get lost each trip.

This is a city of walkers. Millions of fast walkers, heads straight ahead or staring at phones, nearly everyone in salaryman's black. Individual buildings are tough to find since they are not numbered sequentially, but by chronological order of construction - the first building gets the lowest number. One guide asserted the streets were intentionally designed as a maze to protect the emperor. I can believe it. The GPS helped - a little.

The Meiji Shrine was one of the first stops on the first of several tours I took. Most Japanese are both Shinto and Buddist. They like to marry as Shintoists and die as Buddhists, since Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Very practical.

I've never seen a place with so many shops - giant department stores down to hole-in-the-wall stalls. And it's tchotchke heaven. Shop outside Asakusa Temple.

So having incense smoke blow in your face makes you attractive and in your hair makes you clever according to Japanese lore. 

However smoking is not allowed on the street. Most restaurants have smoking areas though. Go figure.

The city at night from the top of a building in Roppongi. The ASIJ high school librarian, Linda, took me out for supper, supplied me with a metro pass, and showed me this great view. The Tokyo Tower built in the late 50s is the tall lighted building.

Rush hour on the Odeo line, the newest and deepest subway in the city. Protocol demands you face out if standing and if the car is crowded you back in. Not up to Mumbai standards of sardine-ity, but a close runner up. In some cases such as at Shinjuku, finding one's way in the stations themselves was more of an ordeal than finding which line to take.  And once one sorted the subway lines from the train lines, the system worked really well.

The world's largest fish market is Tsukiji. It employees over 65,000 people and sells wholesale everything from gianormous tunas to baby sardines. Not bad smelling for a fish market, surprisingly. Gotta watch out for the very rushed guys driving propane propelled carts.

The artificial island of Odaiba was a great place to cycle. On my day-long tour on the Great Tokyo Cycling Tour (I highly recommend it), we rode on back streets, on major streets, on a lot of sidewalks, playing dodge the pedestrians absorbed in their phones, and through park areas like this.

I get the sense my son and grandsons would have appreciated the modern elements of Tokyo more than I would have. Manga comics and cartoons were never part of my childhood, but my boys all love them. This isn't Pokemon, I was told. Gundam Statue on Odiaba Island. Oh, he's the big one.

I was moved at this site near a temple (not remembering which one). Each of these small statues is a memorial to a miscarried child. There were thousands, many with fresh flowers.

The highlight of my visit just may have been attending a sumo tournament with Wouter, the elementary librarian at ASIJ. He's a sumo fan and thoughtfully described the rituals and rules of the sport. In the 2 1/2 hours we were there, I'm guessing we saw 15 minutes of fighting, but the pageantry, the butt-slapping, leg-stomping showmanship was fascinating. The sport is in decline with no Japanese top ranked wrestlers and no attempt to modernize this tradition with strong religious ties.

Mt. Fuji was clear during my tour there. Iconic is all I can say. I want to climb it, but it can really only be done during July or August. The 8 hours up and 3 down are one long queue, I understand. The trip by bus to the area took two hours. The trip back to Tokyo took 30 minutes on the Shinkansen - the bullet train. I'd have gotten a picture but by the time these trains screamed through the station, I was still getting my phone out of my shirt pocket. It's like flying on the ground.

A view of Lake Ashi from the Komagatake Ropeway. We took a short cruise on the lake in a traditional ship. A lady who looked to be in her sixties with what sounded like a British accent complained vociferously that tour brochure promised a ride on one of the pirate ships that also cruised the lake. I really wanted to go up to her and say "What are you, six years old?" Tourists!

The photo of this street scene near Shinjuku station simply doesn't do the lighting justice - or the crowds. I was amazed by the safe feeling, the cleanliness (not a scrap of litter), and the youth out and about both day and night on the streets. 

The tall structure in the back is the Tokyo SkyTree, a communications tower that replaced the Tokyo Tower, only half its height. Supposedly this was needed as buildings grew taller and television became digital. The gold building with the white top in the center of the photo is the Asahi beer building. And yes, it was designed to look like a glass of beer. The gold sweet potato is supposed to be a flame.

Sushi for breakfast? Yup. I don't care for fish so opted for the vegetarian plate. Others got huge slabs of raw fish. My red face is a result of my day-long bike ride earlier in the week, not the wasabi sauce.

At a temple one could pay a Y100 to draw a stick from a can that matched with a drawer that contained a fortune. As you can tell, mine was all bad. However, one can take this slip of paper and tie it to a small frame at the temple, thus leaving all your bad luck behind. Must have worked since I found my way back to the hotel on the subway.

The modern rickshaws were fun to ride. One does not tip in Japan for service so when a guide or rickshaw puller is effusive or helpful, it's genuine love of what they do - not a ploy for more money. I liked that a lot. While Tokyo was somewhat spendy, you weren't nickeled and dimed to death through tips, pay toilets, or the need for bottled water. 

The Akihabara District in Tokyo, home to all things geeky and electronic. 

On nearly every corner of the Akihabara District, appear these cute girls in French maid costumes touting for their "maid cafes" where one can be served coffee and get your ears cleaned (I am not making this up), by submissive, innocent-looking girls - the physical manifestation of a stock manga character. Personally, I'll take IHOP any day.

The ubiquitous vending machine dispenses both hot and cold drinks from every street corner. One piece of technology there that I could figure out. 

I enjoyed my week in Tokyo very much and always feel blessed to be able to experiences places like this. The very size of the city - both in population and physical area - made this a challenging trip for me. You have to work pretty hard as a tourist there. And as an administrator, I am just not accustomed to working that much.

Next visit, I hit museums, Kyoto, and get my ears cleaned.

Tech lessons from Tokyo

Heading home from Tokyo this morning. It's been a pretty amazing week. While did a lot of touristy things I'll document in another post, I had three experiences with technology that made me think. Ouch.

Vending machines here are ubiquitous and wonderfully easy to use since any currency under the value of Y10,000 ($10) is a coin. I loved that coffee was readily available, but I was surprised when I found this can of was served hot instead of cold. How nice and how practical. Such a simple twist to the very old technology of the vending machine. Made me wonder how many old devices could surprise us with new uses if we just thought a little differently about them?

I've never seen a more connected city. My guess is 90% of the people I saw on the streets and subways were plugged into some device - 100% of those under age 30 - with many using two devices simultaneously. For a society that is reserved anyway, I never saw anyone strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. Well, except for me when I sometimes in panic mode asked for directions. I've never felt so keenly the fear that technology is isolating rather than socializing.

These are the controls for my "Tokyo toilet." The icons are fairly self-descriptive. While I am sure my 7-year old grandson would find great fun with such a contraption, I don't know how many would sell in the US. My guess is that two things may explain why they are so popular here. (I did not see a toilet that did not offer these features.) First, culture. The Japanese value cleanliness and personal hygiene and have for centuries. But they also face a challenge: the lack of physical space. This is a small country geographically but has a very large population which results extremely small rooms that make the most of any space. Even vertically - many door frames are only 6 feet high and I have the bumps on my head to prove it.

To me this is an interesting way to look at any technology implementation. First look at the culture of your school and then examine its challenges. Any technology that does not consider both is doomed to failure.