BFTP: The art of saying no

Given all the new challenges and tasks of all educators, especially school librarians, I thought this old post might be helpful.

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

The school library profession does not lack new job responsibilities. Everything from updating the school website to inventorying classroom instructional materials to managing student devices to teaching online learning resources, new tasks are often given to the librarian.

The difficult question then remains - just what has to leave our days in order for new "duties as assigned" to be slipped in. Or should we be better at saying no to new job responsibilities?

Before practicing saying no, we must take a good long look at the task we are being asked to perform. Taking on jobs nobody else can or is willing to do is a pretty good job retention strategy. If you take on the job of say, updating the school webpage and few other unpleasant tasks, when the principal needs to choose between cutting your position and the music teacher, she might reason "If I cut the librarian, I will need to find someone else to update the webpage. I will cut the music teacher instead." And remember my motto:

So let's say you've factored in the advisability of saying yes to the new task and you really don't see how you can accomplish one more thing. Here are some things I try to remember to do when I feel I must say no:

• Start with "Anything is possible." An automatic rejection of request response quickly earns you the reputation of a reactionary. "He's never tries anything new!" By starting the conversation with "anything is possible," the one doing the requesting knows that your eventual decision was not a foregone conclusion. And who knows, the discussion might change your "no" to an enthusiastic "yes."
• Suggest an alternative. Often the need is legitimate. But the proposed solution is not practical. You can get a reputation as a problem-solver by helping the person in need solve his/her problem even when you can't support the original solution.
• Ask for a priority judgement. "Sure, I can teach students how to use the new learning management system as a part of my information literacy curriculum. However I only meet with students for six hours and here are the current outcomes. Would you help me determine which ones I need to eliminate in order to accommodate the new lessons?" If doing a new thing results in something else going undone, a full understanding of the trade-off is essential.
• Express regret. I have problems with people who say no with great glee. It's a cheap form showing power and that power usually tends to be petty. Real power comes from making things happen, not keeping them from happening.

Often in my career I often had to practice the fine art of saying no. I remember regretfully having to turn down a speaking engagement in Hawaii (no vacation days uncommitted that year) and to contribute to a YA podcast (not my area of expertise). At the day job, I regularly told others "no" due to a lack of time, money, or necessity. And sometimes just because the suggested project was not real smart. And the worst job of all is telling someone who applied for a job that another candidate was chosen. I really hate saying no to hopeful people.

But it doesn't hurt quite so much if you can do it well.

Original post 5/12/17

A lesson in political humility

 

In viewing last week's election, both political parties should view the results as a lesson in humility.

There were no red or blue waves, no great mandates, no consensus on any issue or person. Margins were very thin in many victories and the majority of both Houses of Congress has shrunk. Minnesota state government remains divided. Republicans can be disappointed in the national executive branch decision; Democrats can be bemoan not doing better on the legislative side. There seems to be no basis for claims of fraudulent voting. Neither party has anything to be smug or prideful about. 

My hope is that all politicians analyze not what was effective in solidifying their base, but how they can improve by creating platforms/goals/actions which reach out to more people. That middle ground can be found. That the country can move ahead as a result of compromise. That those with whom you may not agree still have priorities and realities and concerns that need to be addressed. 

I am actually quite happy the election turned out as it did. Political waves of any sort are dangerous, leading too many people to believe they have "won" through moral or intellectual superiority. People stop questioning their own beliefs and start ignoring the views and values of others. Lawmakers try to ram through great changes that will then have a boomerang effect the next election cycle instead of making thoughtful, measured progress toward goals that improve society for all of us. It's great for both ends of the liberal/conservative spectrum to have aspirations. But it is just as important to have those pragmatists who can actually move us toward them.

I remember once reading that divorce settlements that give everything to one spouse are never really victories for the one getting everything since the decision causes lasting bitterness and resentment instead of healing. Perhaps the same can be applied to elections.

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BFTP: Selective overgeneralization

At one service club meeting, the breakfast table conversation revolved around the press coverage given to police officers. One of my WASPish fellow members stated that it was but a tiny fraction of law enforcement officers who act inappropriately, but  th those few make society unfairly believe that all police officers perform badly. Heads nodded in agreement.

A bit later the talk turned to a YouTube video where a group of young men watched and recorded a man drowning rather than saving him.  "Typical millennial generation' behavior," the same fellow who had just made the pronouncement about the police officers asserted. Again heads nodded.

Except mine.

I asked "Why would you not apply the same logic to kids that you just applied to police officers? Why do you think this was not just a couple kids giving the rest of their generation a bad name?" And I added, "I can guarantee my grandsons - who are both Boy Scouts - would have done everything in their power to save a drowning person."

I didn't see many heads nod.

Over-generalizing, believing stereotypes, making "allness" statements - I know I am selectively guilty of such thinking myself. But doing so is especially dangerous in this political climate.

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Original post 8/25/17