Once again a time to reflect; the family calendar

I put the family calendars in the mail yesterday. One sent to the Philippines; one to Iowa. Off to those I’ll not be seeing at Christmas in person this year. A few years ago, I wrote the following about these calendars:

I’ve spent some time this week putting together the family calendar - something I've done now since about 2004. Originally I created it in a calendar program and then printed it at a Kinkos on cardstock, but I now use Shutterfly. I've kept the same content formula - "scanned photos of long-gone relatives and baby pictures of my siblings and I are mixed with digital photos from family events from the past year."

Creating a calendar is a powerful form of reflection for me. The end of the year, familiar gatherings, new children and friends, and the loss of people who may have been a long part of my life, all put me in a bittersweet mood. We cannot, of course, stop the world from turning and would not want it to stop revolving even if we could. As much as I loved my children and grandchildren as babies, I love them even more now as adults, fast growing children, and adolescents. Some old and treasured traditions continued; some became impractical; and new ones were forged.

I expect Christmas 2016 will not be dissimilar because not only do those around us change, but we ourselves do as well: becoming wiser or more foolish, healthier or less abled, more giving or more selfish, and braver or more fearful. Opportunities will arise, as will disappointments. Most years I am lucky enough to find a book or take a trip that impacts my life and thinking in a very substantial, personal, permanent way. And I am happy for that.

The family calendar this year, I hope, fills the same purpose that it always has - to give my family members pleasant reminders of the previous year. My niece's growing family, my grandson’s marching band experiences, and a “who’s who” of cats in the family are among this year’s monthly topics.

Get to work on your calendar and your reflections. I need to start my other Christmas shopping!

As always, this has been a year of change for my family. We moved my 91-year-old mother into a senior care apartment. My grandson Miles earned his Eagle Scout rank. His brother got his first “real” job. My son is making plans to move back to Minnesota. I personally had a good year of travels with my friend Heidi, my son-in-law Aaron, and by myself. My daughter’s family and I honored our years-long tradition of getting together for a week in Minnesota and over Labor Day weekend. My buddy Cary and I took our weekly therapy walks and suppers. I personally had a surprising health condition that made me reflect on mortality and what I need to get done so that when I go to my great reward, my children will not be left with a mess.

When I look back on this year’s calendar in five or ten years, I am sure it will bring a smile to my heart. Luckily, I am one of those people who tend to remember the good more so than the bad. Here’s hoping that stays true.

Sometimes it’s better just to rip off the bandaid

Image source

 Malta, being a former British colony, drives on the left side of the road. Even as a passenger (who has a tough time remembering not to try to get into the driver’s seat on the right side of the car), I found car and bus trips there unnerving, especially the roundabouts. Entering them, I feel clueless.

I’ve driven twice before in countries that drive on the left - Australia and New Zealand. I suspect I am still banned from renting a car in both. 

When my son Brady was working in Wellington, I flew over to visit him for a couple weeks. I flew into Auckland on the northern tip of the North Island, met him, rented a car, and took a leisurely drive south, down through Rotorua, winding up in Wellington on the southernmost tip of the North Island. I am guessing Brady still has nightmares about my driving. “Dad! You are way too close to the edge of the road! Watch out for traffic from the left! Slow down!” We did survive and did not damage the rental car.

Whenever I am in a country that drives on the left, I am reminded of a story told to me by a fellow ARAMCO employee back in the 1980’s. He was a Brit and had worked (military or police, as I remember) in an African country that was becoming self-governing after colonial rule. As a symbol of their newly achieved independence, the leaders chose to change from left hand drive to right hand drive. 

But to do so gradually.

On the first week, cars would start driving on the right.
On the second week, trucks would start driving on the right.
On the third week, bicycles etc…

I could find no verification of this happening in a relatively short Google search, although I found many countries did change from left to right after colonial rule ended. So this story may well have been just a rude, rather racist joke about the ability to self-rule. 

But it does seem to offer a lesson that some changes are best made all at once, not gradually. Changing large tech systems like student information systems, email applications, etc. were best done all in one fell swoop. Chaos often erupted, but it usually died down in a week or so. Should the change have been made over the course of weeks, the chaos, I’m sure, would have lasted much, much longer.

Rip the bandaid off - it’s less painful in the long run.

Hiking in Malta; hiking through history

Breakfast at Chapel 5 B&B in Naxxar

Learning has always been my primary motivation for traveling. New landscapes, new foods, new customs, new histories - I enjoy them all. But I forget sometimes that traveling is also a means for learning about oneself. I was reminded of this on my recent trip to Malta.

Germany’s largest wine barrel. I could only finish half.

After spending a couple days in Germany en route (visiting the Heidelberg Castle that I remembered from a Rhine River cruise in the 1980s), I flew to Malta - the largest of three islands that make up the world’s 10th smallest country in area. I signed up for a late November self-guided hiking trip with MacsAdventure at a somewhat late day. My regular travel buddy had already taken trips with her sister and daughter this fall, so I went solo on this one.

View from hike near Mdina

Five days of hikes on three different islands were challenging enough for this 71-year-old. Part of the reason for going on this trip was to simply reassure myself I was still capable of doing eight and nine mile hikes. (I was.) And it was also to reassure myself I had the mental acuity to deal with international navigation, train and bus schedules, new phone SIMs, etc. (Pretty good this trip.) Although the weather was less than ideal - drizzle and winds most days, downpours on three days, I enjoyed the hikes. MacsAdventure uses downloadable GPS maps of each hike which worked great. I saw virtually no other walkers any day, except for the walks in towns.

 Single lane stone foot path - good hill on the other size

I have to say that the country of Malta is not really very pretty. Rocky landscapes, uncontrolled building development, and post-harvest fields (along with the gray skies), wasn’t postcard material. Many of the bays and seashores were lovely and old churches and fortresses were amazing. 90% of the roadways through towns were basically narrow alleyways - amazing to watch the huge public buses navigate through these tight streets. Oh, Malta as a former British colony drives on the left side of the road. 

Typical street in Mdina. Designed to be confusing to invaders who would all be within an arrow flight’s range.

What did make this visit fascinating was Malta’s historical remains. From the 5000 year old stones of Ggiantia in Xaghra to the Mdina fortress, evidence of cultures and civilizations told stories of how these island were alway changing. Located between Europe and Africa and on the Mediterranean sea lanes of corsairs and Turkish navies, the islands were invaded, looted, terrorized, and enslaved throughout history. I am reading David Ball’s historical fiction novel Ironfire, set in 16th century Malta. 

Walls of Victoria’s Citadel

I stayed in two B&Bs on this trip. One in Naxxar (na’shar) on Malta and one in Xaghra (sha’-ra) on Gozo, the smaller island to the north. The B&Bs had both good and poor elements. Great breakfasts, friendly hosts (although at one there was only one worker and she spoke NO English),  the rooms were clean and beds comfortable, and the shower water was hot. The B&Bs both were converted old houses, some 300 to 400 years old. Narrow winding staircases, thick walls, small windows, lots of steps, confusing floorplans - not dungeons, but a castle-like feel. My main problem with both B&Bs was their location. Both in small towns. Both a long walk to the nearest restaurants and grocery stores (about half a mile in Botanica's case). I am no nightlife party-animal, but neither place had other residents with the exception of two nights. It was strange being the only person staying in these dark, chilly rustic places. I read six books over the course of my stay.

Citadel on the hill - the end of my seven mile hike for the day

It was perhaps staying in these old, too quiet residences and hiking alone on isolated paths that I also learned that solo travel does not hold the appeal to me that it once did. When employed, it was good to get away by oneself now and then. Now retired, I have plenty of solitude day-to-day. My view has always been that a great travel year is comprised of one solo trip, one trip with a lover, and one trip with family. I may need to revisit this. My solo trips may now be with guides and groups.

Salt pans on the coast of Gozo

More photos here.