Being funny

Here’s a question I’d never had posed before:

 “How can I be funny?”

The question came from a perfectly sincere and seemingly very nice woman during a break at one of the workshops I gave last week for the Wake County, NC, schools. It seems the person who previously held her position was a very funny person and she’d been getting comments from her staff comparing her to her predecessor.  According to them, she’s coming up short in the humor department. Since I use humor in my workshops as much as possible to get attention, establish a relaxed working atmosphere, and make the occasional point, I guess she thought I was the go-to guy for advice about being funny.

I really didn’t know what to say. I simply advised her not to try to be funny or memorize jokes, but to use stories whenever she could to illustrate her ideas. I’ve advocated telling stories for a long time (See Once Upon a Time) and it was heartening to read Daniel Pink in his book A Whole New Mind saying that storytelling and play  are  “conceptual age" skills.

Had I the chance to think about my response a bit more, I would have added, “And tell stories that are self-deprecating when possible.” Of course this is very easy for me to do since I have so many stories that may seem to be self-deprecating, but in which I am just telling things the way they actually happened.

There is of course danger in using humor. A joke can fall flat and you wind up looking like a real dork. A funny story is rarely funny if not told well. Forgetting the punch line tends to blunt the impact somewhat. Much humor is or can be interpreted as racist, sexist or otherwise offensive. And of course there are times when humor is inappropriate – as your wife is trying on new clothes, when talking to the immigration official at Canadian customs, or during a negative performance review with your boss.

There is a less obvious, but perhaps more important, caution about humor as well. Pain, discomfort or embarrassment are at the root of many things humans find funny. Slipping on a banana peel may bring peals of laughter to the viewer, but it doesn’t bring even a smile to the slipper. Humor at the expense of others is often just plain mean. That’s why self-deprecating humor is a wise choice. When you are the butt of the joke, you are fairly safe.

From Machines Are the Easy Part; People Are the Hard Part:

34. Work a little humor into every communication effort.

What did Ole say when the Kinsey Sex Survey called and asked him if he smoked after sex? “Don’t know. Never looked.”

All right, it’s an old joke, but it made you keep on reading. There is really no excuse whatsoever not to inject at least a little humor into every communication effort you make. It’s a mistake to confuse dryness with professionalism.

If you want the head paying attention, you have to get the heart involved. Humor is probably the easiest way to evoke an emotional response. (A groan is an emotional response, right?) You can elicit anger, fear or sadness to get attention as well, but for my money smiles do the job better.

 Oh. I wouldn’t make my jokes any racier than the one above.

What advice would you give to someone who feels they need to be “funnier?”

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Thanks much to all the wonderful people who attended my presentations in Minneapolis, Raleigh, and London, Ontario this past week. It was an exhausting, but also energizing few days. Your kindness and hospitality were much appreciated.

A few weeks at home now until heading to the ICE conference in Indianapolis the end of January. Looking forward to spending some quality time doing E-rate 470s in the district.