Is it possible to motivate a cynic?
Friday, March 24, 2006 at 03:25PM
I hate liver. It’s one of the very few foods I would not eat even were I starving. But every once in a while I take a bite of it just to see if anything has changed. So far, I still hate liver.
I feel the same way about “motivational” speakers as I do about liver. I can’t stand them. But now and then I go see one just to see if my tastes have changed. Judging by the fellow who was brought in by our Chamber of Commerce yesterday, even fried and served with onions, I still don’t like ‘em. Why? And what can learn from ‘em anyway?
1. Being too smooth. This guy had every hair in place, a neat little suit, and chubby, oily little face just as smooth as his talk. He’s given basically the same talk in the same way at least 100 times. His enthusiasm was,well, well-rehearsed. He delivered his talk just like Toastmasters taught him to. And he seemed about as sincere as polyester.
Lesson: Better to be unscripted with a few surprises. Talk to people. Talk with people. Don’t talk at people.
2. Lacking originality. In the course of 180+ minutes, I did not hear one new joke or story or piece of advice. Not one. He attributed some stories as happening to him that I know I’d read somewhere else before. And I seriously doubt he wrote them originally. One little deception and he lost all credibility for me.
Lesson: If you don’t have something original to say, stay quiet. It doesn’t have to be profound, but it has to be your own. Every joke comes around in e-mail at least once a year. If you’ve read it, so have 90% of the folks in the group you’re speaking to. Write your own material, figure out a way to personalize the old chestnuts, or at least, attribute the source. It’s OK to embellish a story (IMHO), but the core story better be true and it better have happened to you.
3. Coming off as a pompous ass. It got real old, real quick hearing how darned good the guy was to his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his friends, the world at large, etc. Made me pretty much want to upchuck. Anybody that holier-than-thou, I figure has to have some real deep-down dark secret. I am guessing he was wearing women's lingerie under that suit.
Lesson: Don’t be the hero of your own stories. Screw-ups are more interesting than successes. Sinners are more fun than saints.
4. Offering trite platitudes. Yeah, yeah. I know that “attitude” is everything. I know people like compliments. I know you should be creative. I know you need to listen. Tell me something I don’t already know.
Lesson: Offer some different advice. Larry Winget , the only “motivational” speaker I’ve found I actually enjoy, simply says:
Shut up.Now there is advice one doesn’t hear everyday – but most of us need.
Stop whining.
Get a life.
Most of the folks in the audience yesterday with me were business folks. When the speaker asked, “How do you show people you value them?” the stock answers popped up – compliment, celebrate, recognize, etc. I didn’t hear one person mention, “Pay a living wage.” or “Provide health care benefits.” Now in my mind, those would be motivators.
But then, I’m a cynic.
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