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Monday
Feb052007

So how cold is it?

-15 this Monday morning here in southern Minnesota. But balmy compared to some parts of the state. Here is a old chestnut:

COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU? (Author unknown.)
 60 above zero

Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens. 

50 above zero

Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero

Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

20 above zero

Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero

People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero

Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero

Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero

Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the minivan.

460 below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale)

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Minnesota start saying, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?" 

500 below zero

Hell freezes over.
Vikings win the SuperBowl. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

 

A little Minnesota advice for keeping warm...

milescold.jpg

Even if it makes your hips look fat, dress for the weather.

drawing.jpg
Find things to do to take your mind off the cold.

 banana.jpg

Store up food.

cuddle.jpg

Make reading a group activity.

Stay warm! - Doug 

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Reader Comments (3)

So, according to the above, Minnesotans are shutting the windows and putting on coats. Suburban Ohioans are closing schools. No, really. And I'm not complaining.

Glad to have found your blog. I'll be a frequent visitor!
February 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMary Lee
Doug;
Many years ago I lived in the Adirondack mountains near Lake Placid. One winter we had a cold snap of 12 consecutive days that were -10 or colder. It culminated with a -40 degree night. My best friend's brother was visiting from Long Island and his car was the only one to start the next day. He had taken his car battery indoors for the night. All us "hard bitten" mountain folks had to bite our tongues as this NYC type jump-started all our cars in the morning.
Pete
February 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpete reilly
Yup, even in the wilds of NYC, we knew enought to bring the car battery indoors on really cold nights.
February 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

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