Road ditch sociology

I spent a couple hours Saturday morning helping my fellow Kiwanians police our Adopt-a-Highway bit of road. Our few miles start just south of Mankato's city limits, wind past the ski hill, and end at the southern bypass road. I've gotten to know this stretch of two-lane pretty well over the past 10 years or so.

You can tell a lot about a country and the direction in which it is headed by examining what its citizens toss from their car windows (or let blow out the back of their pickup trucks). Here are some things I thought were pretty interesting. But remember, I am easily amused.

Sports drinks vs. beer cans For the first time, sport drink containers seemed to out number beer cans. If you are an optimist, I guess you could say Americans are leading healthier lifestyles. If you are a pessimist, you could say Americans are still acting stupidly but now can't blame their actions on drunkenness. It was the later view that first popped into my head.

Thong panties. I found no used condoms this bagging trip - the first time this has happened, I think, but I did find a pair of discarded thong panties. Pink and lacey. Perhaps the studies are right - economic recessions result in lower libidos by those impacted. Or could it be my fellow countrymen and countrywomen are practicing less safe sex? I wonder if any studies have been done of the IQs of children conceived in vehicles?

Microtrash. I don't know if there are guidelines about what one should or should not pick up during an Adopt-A-Highway effort. Personally, I tend to ignore those bits of trash any smaller than a Ritz cracker or that I think Mother Nature will soon take care of herself such as banana peels and small bits of paper. My bagging buddy was more particular. Cigarette butts were a particular item of contention. I left'm; she didn't. Oh, the stop-smoking campaigns don't seem to doing much good here in Southern Minnesota judging by the number of butts and cigarette packages I saw.

Most piggish fast food eaters. Subway wins this year. Jared, tell your fat-assed tribe to lose weight by walking to a trash can. Thank you. And let's go back to paper soft drink cups instead of plastic ones that don't quite disintegrate when hit by UV rays.

Thank you's. A number of us commented that we were thanked by passing motorists and bicyclists for the work we were doing. I only hope the gratitude extends to action - or inaction (not littering). But then I just don't see someone who bicycles for fun or says "thank you" tossing stuff to the side of the road. Even sports drink containers.

Overall, I'd say litter has become less and less a problem on our bit of highway over the years -  a positive sign. And we Minnesotans are pikers in producing litter compared to folks in Bangkok, Cairo and Mumbai. I hope we never take our clean, green, beautiful landscapes for granted.

Enough trash talk for this Sunday morning.

Comments

[Jude]

It takes a heck of a long time for a cigarette butt to biodegrade, at least in Colorado's climate. I think that because they're so small, cigarette smokers don't regard them as litter. I definitely agree with your bagging buddy.

[Doug Johnson]

Hi Jude,

Ciggie butts don't bio-degrade all that fast here either. It's just that if one tried to all of them, you'd only be able to adopt a few yards of highway, not a few miles! I am not sure if they cause harm to wildlife or not.

Appreciate the comment,

Doug