Educating Zombies: the book you, yourself, may have written after a few beers
Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 06:50PM 
I am not quite sure how or why I started reading the Drill and Kill: Educating Zombies blog by J. The stuff I've read by authors who go only by first initials tend to be, ahem, adult in content. But I have constantly enjoyed J's hard-headed but humorous commentary on education with the over-riding theme that schools are creating mindless, rather than mindful, students.
I liked J's posts enough to invest in his book, Educating Zombies (ordering information is on the blog link above). And I highly recommend you buy and read it provided that you:
- enjoy those wonderfully truthful, non-PC conversations that educators can have only after a few beers.
- have never really gotten over the traumas of junior high school and that rebukes from your eighth grade girlfriend/boyfriend still sting.
- have a tolerance for, if not an appreciation of, profanity as a modifier.
- like to read the views of teachers with a genuine compassion for kids, schools and learning.
In an introduction and a baker's dozen of short chapters, J takes a good whack at childhood obesity, religion in schools and government, political correctness, e-mail etiquette, over-protection of kids, conformity, and "advisory" programs designed to "build character." All genuine concerns of veteran educators who see the good intentions of soft-minded, fearful policymakers inadvertently killing kids with kindness.
My dog-eared copy of Educating Zombies. I hope I didn't just offend dog lovers, book lovers, or e-book readers.
My paper copy (first book I've read on dead trees for a year) has just about every other page dog-eared with big blue stars inked beside passages like these:
... I do not want to diminish the love educators have for their students, but in the end they teach and reward conformity to the least creative kids.
You would be surprised how much information you can get from a book flap. Usually enough to fool people into thinking you have read it.
... it's best not to prank administrators who have 1/3 less sense of humor than regular people.
We go into education because we don't like adults. Therefore, spending an entire evening with them is as much fun as pulling dead animals from underneath a car. It is nerve-wracking, boring, repetitive and necessary.
Nothing screams "asshole" like the Blackberry prayer. You have seen this, two hands meeting around the black plastic, head down, ... I have seen administrators standing in front of a student body thumb-hammering into their Blackberry. ... If you own a Blackberry I would like to suggest you mute the volume then shove it up your ass.
What's different about me now from when I first started is that now I go into the classroom and I wonder everyday what I am going to learn instead of what I'm going to teach.
For the typical kid, a "Person of the Week" makes them feel special; like everyone else.
I always hear stories from adults that claim to remember being picked last as a kid and how they still suffer from that. It usually comes from assholes that people still shun. Go figure.
Schools are rife with conformity masked as such things as schedules, rules, lockers, procedures, lines and more. There is no room for the child that questions authority or seeks an alternative path.
... parents continue to insist that the education they received as children is the same kind their kids should have. It seems as though every other profession has evolved and people accept this except in education.
... children that have been taught resiliency, that have not been coddled, will survive.
Thank you to the the short-sighted, stupid asshole administrators that I have worked under the past fifteen years. If it were not for your complete lack of understanding of children I would have nothing to write about.
The book combines a few wild adolescent tales, an Animal House-type prank or two, a couple of interviews with veteran and beginning teachers, and plenty of references to sports and rock-and-roll mixed in with fifteen years of observations about educational foibles. Self-indulgent at times, off-task often, and too obviously aiming at shocking us old farts with rap lyric vocab, J's humanity and concern for kids still seeps through the tough guy mask. Better luck next time, dude.
Now that this little temper tantrum is out of the author's system, I hope J focuses on a book that outs "self esteem" programs like Kohn's Punished by Rewards exposes extrinsic motivation.
But don't wait for a second book. If you are not humor-challenged nor offended by profanity, you'll both enjoy and appreciate Educating Zombies.
Go for it.
Reader Comments (5)
Sounds great! Can't wait, thanks.
This blog posting coincides will with a Seattle Times Op-Ed piece from Washington state Teacher of the Year, Mark Ray http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2016574447_guest23ray.html
See ya in Minneapolis!
CB
Author of reviewed book here. Much gratitude to Doug for taking the time to wade through my profanity-laced teenage rants to find the kernel of truth. "The book you'd write after a few beers" sums it up perfectly. My anonymity is to preserve my job and you'll know why it would be in jeopardy after reading Educating Zombies ;)
@ CB - I'm not saying anything new or original. The backlash against creating self-esteem in schools has started and I'd like to be remembered as one of the first to call bs.
Thanks Doug - I've added Drill and Kill to my iGoogle page, right next to the Blue Skunk!
See you in Minneapolis!
Len
Drill and Kill the Blue Skunk? Has a nice ring to it. Thanks for the support, Len. New post coming early next week...