Why robots make the best teachers

I think we can all agree that Sierra's observations about robots being the best employees holds true for teachers as employees in general, but there are some additional, specific reasons that teachers especially ought to be more robotic. Just as a reminder from Sierra:

Why Robots Are the Best Employees by Kathy Sierra (2006)

1. They don't challenge the status quo
2. They don't ask those uncomfortable questions
3. They're 100% obedient
4. They don't need "personal" days.
5. ... because they don't have a personal life
6. They never make the boss look bad (e.g. stupid, incompetent, clueless, etc.)
7. They dress and talk the way you want them to
8. They have no strongly-held opinions
9. They have no passion, so they have nothing to "fight" for
10. They are always willing to do whatever it takes (insane hours, etc.)
11. They are the ultimate team players
12. They don't complain when you micromanage (tip: micromanaging is in fact one of the best ways to create a robot)
13. They don't care what their workspace is like, and don't complain if they don't have the equipment they need
14. They'll never threaten your job
15. They make perfect scapegoats
16. They get on well with zombies 

So why do robots especially make the best teachers?

1. They always follow the mandated curriculum (and love the Common Core)
2. They let nothing get in the way of good test scores
3. They give no special treatment to individual students
4. They have no special passions that take away time from teaching the basics
5. The do not tolerate ambiguity - only right and wrong
6. They never laugh, never get mad, never show excitement, never use sarcasm
7. They are easily programmed by politicians
8. They never break their computers, demand an IWBs, or let their kids play with their iPads
9. They pay attention during meetings
10. They don't need staff development
11. Their grades and lesson plans are always in on time
12. They work well with robot students

When robots take over the world, we can all just relax.