BFTP: Creative spam headers

A weekend Blue Skunk "feature" will be a revision of an old post. I'm calling this BFTP: Blast from the Past. Orginal post April 1, 2008. 

I am posting this against my better judgment, but here goes anyway. Rated PG 13.

I have to say I've been getting a huge chuckle out of checking the trap on my spam filter lately. The subject headings are getting more and more creative. Who writes these things?  Most, of course, are for male "enhancement" products, Viagra or porn. Those marketers sure know how I like to spend MY money.

 Just from today. (With my comments.) 

• Huge cucumber is your riches (The LWW is a gardener so this one might have possibilities.)
• Tired of being second best in bed? (Out of three, four?)
• Give yourself a massive headstart (On what?)
• Beat the odds, bed HER (Oh, they know my usual odds too!)
• Hillari Clinton stood up for daughter (I didn't get this one at all.)
• Huge love weapon is never too much (Love weapon an oxymoron?)  
• Scarlett Johansson spills boobs (At least she didn't spill the beer.)
• Now You Can Enhance Your Sex Life at the Lowest Prices (I hope somebody forwards this to Eliot Spitzer.)           
• Massive even when flaccid (Bragging rights down at the Y, you betcha!)
• Give her the present she deserves (What if she deserves someone who doesn't read this kind of spam?)
• Life is unpredictable. Be prepared. (The Boy Scout Motto, if I remember. Those little pervs.)
• Fierce and furious in bed (And fast!)
• Enhance your wicked reputation (I'm just tickled to know I have one.)
• Feel yourself more manly (But not in public, please.)
• Huge tool to please your lassie (A Shillelagh? No that's Irish.)
  
• Bang your way through all barriers (With your shilelagh, of course.)
• Be the man of women's dreams (And she'll wake up screaming.)
• No weight - no problems (Another one I don't get.)
• Immeasurable wand of pleasure (Wasn't it Harry Potter and the Immeasurable Wand of Pleasure?)
• Give her the time of her life (Proves Hobbs observation about life - nasty, brutish and short.)
• She saw the fire in my eye (Which is why she threw her drink in my face - to put it out.)
• Gain permanent gains now (Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.)
• Rock her socks off. (More likely rock her to sleep.)
• Your tool is set to burst out from the toolbox. (I knew we'd gone too far with these cordless devices.)
• failure notice (Oh, that message actually WAS from the LWW)

Do you have a favorite spam subject header? Add it below - with or without commentary. Do women get the same spam as guys do? 

A few from the comments section of the original post:

Clean colon: Flatter Tummy
Slim down both day and night!
Govt handouts-Millions available
A bigger smile on your partner
Hey: someone close could have a crush on you
LIVE OR DIE and it was from someone called MUSA HUSAN (KILLER)

Comments

[BlueBindweed]

I wish I could remember some of the better ones. I used to get the same ones, and I'm a woman, but I just checked my spam filter and it's mostly diet and business "opportunities." It helps that an older woman across the country mistook my email for hers for a while and I now get her spam, which is much more sedate.

My personal favorites are the singles ads, since I've been married for 20 years now.

[Doug Johnson]

Hi Kath,

I also think Gmail is doing a better job of filtering spam before it ever gets to any spam folder in the program itself. I sort of miss the really odd ball topics.

Thanks for the comment,

Doug

[Connie]

My favorite ad was on the sidebar of Facebook. It was one of those ads that would pull a random FB profile pic and insert it into an ad. This one was for finding singles in my area and the random profile pic? None other than own spouse! (Why yes, we do like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain)

[Doug Johnson]

Connie,

Good one. So what did you think? Would you have dated him?

Doug