BFTP: Why 5-star hotels suck
Saturday, November 1, 2014 at 08:50AM OK, a little rant that has nothing to do with libraries or education. Just life.
When I travel, the kind hearted, well-intentioned, generous people who ask me to come speak and consult usually put me up in very, very nice hotels. You know the kind. Giant foyers. Lots o' marble. Fountains in the lobby. Valet parking. Glass elevators. 20 or so pillows on the bed.
For, I suppose, 99% of travelers, staying in these places is something of a dream - luxury at its finest. But, at the real risk of sounding like a terrible ingrate, I have to say that unless the conference is right in the hotel itself, I'd just as soon stay in something a little more downscale.
The alarm clock in my room this morning at a Crowne Plaza went off twice - first with beeping and then again 15 minutes later with a very loud radio program. Not that I wasn't already awake, but it did scare the beejezus out of me. I had not set the alarm. It would probably have taken me 15 minutes to figure out how to operate this "dream machine" that sports 21 separate buttons. Yes, 21. This is what it looks like. It is now unplugged.
Like most regular travelers, I bring my own small, easy to set alarm clock with me - or more often just use the alarm in my phone. Sometimes I ask for a wake up call, but these tend to be undependable even in the best hotels. What I never do is use the alarm clock in the room itself. I don't have the patience to learn a new programming language each place I stay.
5-star hotels have other downsides as well:
- Expensive room service and restaurants. The cost of the room is just the tip of the expense iceberg. Most food and other services are very high priced and rarely of the quality to justify the cost. To add insult to injury, some hotels don't have in-room coffee makers so one is forced to buy the expensive stuff. $12 for a pot of room service java. What a rip-off!
- No free Internet. Even the lowest cost hotel chains now offer free wireless. To pay between $10 and $20 a day for wireless is just plain nuts. And for someone who works a lot in hotel rooms, not having Internet is not an option.
- Complicated alarm clocks that it takes a PHD to understand. See above. I would also add complicated thermostats, tub/shower faucets, and even lamp switches.
- Poor configuration of rooms for working and reading. Too many fancy hotels (and granted, lots of cheap ones) don't provide good desks or desk chairs, convenient electrical outlets, or adequate lighting. I also like a comfortable reading chair, not art deco statement.
- USA Today. No local paper.
- No flavor of the country. When I travel internationally on my own, I love staying in small, independent hotels. A Hilton/Radisson/Hyatt in Istabul is pretty much like a Hilton/Radisson/Hyatt
in Beijing is pretty much like a Hilton/Radisson/Hyatt in Kansas City. Ya want a Starbucks coffee? You got it. So what's even the point of traveling if the place you are staying is just like the place you left? Give me a small room, winding stairs, a creepy desk clerk, and weird stuff on the breakfast buffet. Oh wait, that DOES sound like a place I stayed right here in Minnesota once.
I think I have that out of my system. I am genuinely grateful to the nice people who install me in nice hotels. Really I am. But given the choice, save your money. Put me in a Motel 6.
Reader Comments (4)
I'm betting you'll just be in a generic conference hotel room here in Atlanta next week. Heck, you won't even really be IN Atlanta. You'll be in a conference center near the airport a good 45 minutes from the city itself. Which is something I didn't realize when I offered to show you some good eating when you come to visit. Now I'll have to do some research to find something decent in ConferenceVille...
I will be at GaETC this week and staying on my daughter's sofa in Dunwoody. Want to trade places?? LOL!
Here in Barcelona, Venezuela the hotel with "unique" rooms. When Paul DiMinico was here last fall his room had a
sandy beach in one corner. See local flavor. tee hee
Gwen,
The beach in the corner will be a tale he can tell for years!
Doug