The dark side of my nature
Thursday, January 8, 2015 at 05:02AM
“You come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you; they are thinking about themselves. You learn that no matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you, a lesson that is at first troubling and then really quite relaxing.” John Gardner on maturity (quoted by David Brooks)
Given the choice, I would rather be liked than disliked - as a co-worker, a colleague, a relative, a neighbor. a human being. There is, I'm sure, some survival advantages to being likeable - one is less likely to have one's head bashed in, being able to live long enough procreate, when others feel an affinity toward you as a person. One's self-perception, after all, is in large part made up of reflections and reactions of others. At least mine is.
Yet the older I get, the less I worry about my popularity. I know things I do and say simply honk people off at times. Knowing that some people are just never going to love me isn't that important. It's even, as Gardner suggests, "quite relaxing." Our recent switch to Gmail from Outlook at work royally pissed a few people off, and in meetings, little digs and questions let me know the change is still an ongoing rub and I am personally responsible for their unhappiness.
With some people, you just know nothing will satisfy them. No action will make them happy. Not one thing you can do will make them like you. And I'm OK with that.
In fact, the dark side of my nature asks, "What can I do to drive these people even a little more crazy?" since they will never like me anyway. Personally, I would like someone to invent an ethernet cable that works when I am near and doesn't work when the user needs to get something done and I am not around. (Maybe I will create a Kickstart campaign. Partners?)
I remember a tech once telling her principal, "Nothing I do seems to make you happy. But luckily you are a lot more fun to watch when your mad." I suspect she long ago stopped worrying about her popularity.
Reader Comments (2)
Hilarious! First of all - I can not imagine a career without Google apps - including GMAIL! Outlook? That is so 2008. I remember the day when we made the email switch. It was hard - but people adapted (quite quickly I might add) and we now have a "new normal" here in Byron. I am certain - many more people LOVE you for making the switch than those who don't. Gmail is awesome - Not just for the communication and collaboration... but the sheer simplicity of making all those apps meld beautifully!
Hi Jen,
This was the second time I led the Outlook to Gmail transition - we did it in Mankato 5 years ago. The first time was easier since the change did not require anyone to change email addresses. This recent change required people to start using a second, less common Gmail address since some rocket scientist decided to run both email systems at the same time.
Still, like you say, after about a month, the whole this becomes a non-issue except for a few die-hards.
Have a good weekend and stay warm!
Doug​