BFTP: What's a friend?

I posted this reflection about 5 years ago when Google+ made its debute. I am still asking these questions with a few tweaks...

Thank you for being a friend
Andrew Gold

The ability to create categories of types of acquaintances on social media sites has me asking: What exactly constitutes a "friend?"

That was a pretty easy question to answer as a kid whose "circle" was comprised of classmates, neighborhood hoodlums, and the odd cousin. I remember a pen-pal or two, but friendship was a term easily defined: other kids you liked and played with in person.

Facebook asked most of us to re-think who our "friends" are. What's the difference between a friend, a family member, a colleague, and an acquaintance? I am regularly haunted by seeing names that look vaguely familiar, but I just can't place. Is this someone I once worked with? Someone from the community? Someone to whom I was once married? Is a person you see once a year at a conference really a "friend?" Is someone you only know online a friend? Is it OK to say to someone who you don't know - or don't remember, "I don't want to be your friend." or even worse "I don't want to be your friend any longer." How do we navigate all these social networking streams without hurting feelings or making blood enemies or being a cad or losing friendships that are important to us?

Where is the Miss Manners of Facebook?

Anyway, with Google+ and it's "circles" that help define relationships, I've decided to become much more granular. Here are some circles I've created so far:

• I have no clue who these people are
• Potential stalker
• Potential stalkee
• People who owe me money
• Relatives I like
• Relatives I avoid
• People I see at conferences once a year
• People I avoid at conferences once a year
• People who say nice things on my blog
• Trolls
• People who can fire me or get me fired
• People who care enough about me that they'd like to know what I had for breakfast (0)
• Nagging editors
• Women with really cute profile photos
• Creepy people, nut jobs, Trump supporters, and fellow bloggers
• Misc.

OK, maybe I am being a little tongue-in-cheek here, but it is nice to easily be able to group your "friends" according to what information you like to send out and whose information you'd like to read.

My guess is that Facebook will remain my tool for communicating with my personal friends (at least people I could pick out of a line-up) and relatives; Google+ for professional colleagues; and Linked-In for anybody who wants to network.

The world is becoming ever more confusing.

Original post July 21, 2011

Comments

[Debra Gottsleben]

Think I'd be a friend - found my category- People who say nice things on my blog.

Hope I meet up with you at a conference one of these days!

[Doug Johnson]

Hi Deb,

I definitely think of you as a friend - and yes, it would be great to meet F2F one day.

Thanks for the comment and all the best!

Doug