When in doubt, be kind
Wednesday, April 12, 2017 at 04:08PM ...Oh friends, take
whatever kindness you can find
and be profligate in its expenditure:
It will not drain your limited resources,
I assure you, it will not leave you vulnerable
and unfurled, with only your sweet little claws
to defend yourselves, and your wet little noses,
and your eyes to the ground, and your little feet.“Be Kind” by Michael Blumenthal
My poor son-in-law, a pastor of the UCC, comes as close to a spiritual advisor as I have. He advised always giving to panhandlers when I queried him on the topic. Give. Just give without exception or hesitation.
So when the president of St Catherine University in St Paul shared this editorial from the March 5 edition of the New York Times, I was pleased to see that Aaron and Pope gave the same advice: just give.
The Pope and the Panhandler
New Yorkers, if not city dwellers everywhere, might acknowledge a debt to Pope Francis this week. He has offered a concrete, permanently useful prescription for dealing with panhandlers.
It’s this: Give them the money, and don’t worry about it.
The pope’s advice, from an interview with a Milan magazine published just before the beginning of Lent, is startlingly simple. It’s scripturally sound, yet possibly confounding, even subversive. Living in the city—especially in metropolises where homelessness is an unsolved, unending crisis—means that at some point in your day, or week, a person seeming (or claiming) to be homeless, or suffering with a disability, will ask you for help. You probably already have a panhandler policy. You keep walking, or not. You give, or not. Loose coins, a dollar, or just a shake of a head. Your rule may be blanket, or case-by-case. If it’s case by case, that means you have your own on-the-spot, individualized benefits program, with a bit of means-testing, mental health and character assessment, and criminal-background check—to the extent that any of this is possible from a second or two of looking someone up and down.
Francis’ solution eliminates that effort. But it is by no means effortless. Speaking to the magazine Scarp de Tenis, which means Tennis Shoes, a monthly for and about the homeless and marginalized, the pope said that giving something to someone in need is “always right.” (We’re helped here by the translation in an article from Catholic News Service.) But what if someone uses the money for, say, a glass of wine? (A perfectly Milanese question.) His answer: If “a glass of wine is the only happiness he has in life, that’s O.K. Instead, ask yourself, what do you do on the sly? What ‘happiness’ do you seek in secret?” Another way to look at it, he said, is to recognize how you are the “luckier” one, with a home, a spouse and children, and then ask why your responsibility to help should be pushed onto someone else.
Then he posed a greater challenge. He said the way of giving is as important as the gift. You should not simply drop a bill into a cup and walk away. You must stop, look the person in the eyes, and touch his or her hands. The reason is to preserve dignity, to see another person not as a pathology or a social condition, but as a human, with a life whose value is equal to your own.
This message runs through Francis’ preaching and writings, which always seem to turn on the practical and personal, often citing the people he met and served as a parish priest in Argentina. His teaching on divorced and remarried Catholics has infuriated some conservative critics who accuse him, unfairly, of elevating compassion over doctrine. His recent statements on refugees and immigrants are the global version of his panhandler remarks—a rebuke aimed directly at the rich nations of Europe and at the United States. America is in the middle of a raging argument over poor outcasts. The president speaks of building walls and repelling foreigners. That toxic mind-set can be opposed in Washington, but it can also be confronted on the sidewalk. You don’t know what that guy will do with your dollar. Maybe you’d disapprove of what he does. Maybe compassion is the right call.
Were I to form a religion (heaven forbid - so to speak), I would have kindness be its most basic tenet. You honor your god by treating all her/his/its creations with kindness whether they be animal, vegetable, or mineral. Pretty simple - the one commandment - Be Kind.
Were I ever to find myself homeless, the first thing I would do is get a scruffy dog. My solicitations would be not for me, but for my canine companion. I bet I'd get more donations than my fellow bums.
Reader Comments (5)
I always agonize in these situations. Thanks for helping me to remember to be both grateful and kind.
Reminds me of this: http://zenpencils.com/comic/118-roger-ebert-on-kindness/
I especially agonize when the panhandler is smoking a cigarette or talking on a smart phone. Judge not, I guess.
Down in KC over the Easter weekend. Beautiful!
Doug
Jim,
Wonderful graphic and site. Thanks for passing it along. (Your act of kindness for today!)
Doug
Thanks for sharing this insightful article. Indeed, thank you for reminding us to be kind always.
Thanks, Dave, for the comment. It gave me an excuse to re-read the piece myself. I need reminders now and then - even about what I preach!
Doug