Why do we volunteer?

What is my purpose in life?” I asked the void.

“What if I told you that you fulfilled it when you took an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life?” said the voice. “Or when you paid for that young couple in that restaurant? Or when you saved that dog in traffic? Or when you tied your father’s shoes for him?

Your problem is that you equate purpose with goal-based achievement. God or the Universe or morality isn’t interested in your achievements… just your heart. When you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love, you are already aligned with your true purpose. No need to look any further. ~ From ~ Note to Self ~ Tao & Zen*

I thought about the quote above as I walked out of the grocery store yesterday, clutching two boxes of Girl Scout cookies, smugly confident I'd done my good deed for the day. Yet somehow buying sweets for my personal consumption, even as a contribution to an organization in support of youth, did not seem to be in quite the same league of rescuing a dog or tying an old person's shoes. 

Were shelling out a few bucks for those Thin Mints an act of "kindness, compassion or love" or simply an excuse for buying junk food that I would not otherwise purchase? 

My sense is that retirement may be more difficult for people who worked in a "service" profession. Having worked in education all my life, I felt I contributed to the general good of society by helping educate children and young adults. On a day-to-day basis, my contributions seemed abstract (making decisions about network security, doing training on a new student information system, budgeting for server replacements, etc.), but generally I believed my work to have been of a higher moral calling than that, of say, an industrial chemical salesman or long haul truck driver. But I suspect most occupations have a means of rationalizing how they contribute to "the greater good."

I felt better about my post-retirement contributions to the community last Friday after having co-led a winter hike for the ForeverWell group from the local YMCA and drivng an elderly lady from her hairstylist appointment back to her home on behalf of a nonprofit. But most volunteer work I do has the same sense of selfishness that buying Girl Scout cookies does - I may well be getting as much pleaure from it as do the intended recipients. Such jobs structure my weeks and provide opportunity to interact with other humans. Maybe not the sugar high of a Thanks-A-Lot cookie, but good feelings.

In looking for international teaching volunteer opportunities, I was referred to a "global volunteer" website**, where I discovered a week's volunteering in Central America would cost me more than week-long cruise or stay at an all-inclusive tropical resort. While I would expect as a volunteer to pay my own expenses for travel, room, and board, I never dreamt that people might pay thousands of dollars to serve those in need. Who does this work truly serve? Is it a means of purchasing a clear conscience after a life building wealth?

I won't stop volunteering. But neither will I stop questioning my motives for doing so. Cynic that I am, even about my own motivations, I don't really believe altruism exists. 

I'm going to go eat a cookie now.

* I had no success in tracking down a primary source for this quote. It appears on lots of websites, but I never really found an author. Tao & Zen seems to be a Facebook page that shares Buddhist thoughts. Leave a comment if you know the source. Thanks.

** The organization showed an endorsement from Oprah in its promotional video.

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