Old Advice: Johnson's Rules

 

Tim over at Assorted Stuff posted "Old Advice" - a summary of pithy statements by author Kevin Kelly to mark his 68th birthday. They're pretty good. 

While I have a couple months yet to go until I turn 68, I am happy to share some "Old Advice" myself. I certainly don't place myself at the same level of intelligence as Kevin Kelly, I do think all of us have unique perspectives and life experiences that are worth sharing with those who really don't care to listen.

Taking the form of rules and laws (in the spirit of Murphy's Law), all the statements below are original as best I remember, formulated over 40 years working in education.

Here you go.

1. Johnson’s Thoughts on Job Assignments: Give the worst jobs to the people who are unhappy anyway.
2. Johnson’s Library Mission: To get back the overdue readers, not the overdue books.
3. Johnson’s Observation About Public Speaking: You’re never bored when you are the one doing the talking.
4. Johnson’s Rule of Technology Reliability: It’s better to have one computer that works all the time than two computers that work 50% of the time.
5. Johnson’s Question About Fairness: If the cure only works for 80% should we withhold it out of fairness to the other 20%?
6. Johnson’s Observation About Office Climate: If the supervisor ain’t having fun, nobody’s having fun.
7. Johnson’s Rule of Sincerity: Compliments are always more sincere when accompanied by a box of doughnuts.
8. Johnson’s Rule on Coasting: Complacency is dangerous both in love and technology.
9. Johnson’s Rule of Creativity in the Workplace and Classroom: You can’t suppress it so you may as well channel it.
10. Johnson’s Disclaimer: Anything I’ve said that you don’t like, you’ve obviously misinterpreted.
11. Johnson’s Law of Literacy: If one can read but is not changed by reading, why bother?
12. Johnson’s Rule of Indispensability: If your job is eliminated, your boss should really regret it.
13. Johnson’s Rules for Spreading Manure: 1) Always check which way the wind is blowing 2) Never lick your finger to find out.
14. Johnson’s Technology Formula: T - t = 0 (Technology without training is a paperweight.)
15. Johnson’s Moral Imperative: Subversion in the creation of a good school is not a vice.
16. Johnson’s Rule of Technology Perspective: Every tech problem is a big tech problem to the person experiencing it.
17. Johnson’s Secret of Technology Deployment: Make everything up as you go along without letting anyone else know that you’re doing so.
18. Johnson’s Observation about Progress: There is a subtle but important difference between moving and moving forward.
19. Johnson’s First Rule of Effective Advocacy: Don’t advocate for libraries; advocate for library users.
20. Johnson’s First Law of Technology Integration: Use techology to make your poor units better, not your great units worse.
21. Johnson’s Three Commandments of a Successful Library Program: 1.Thou shall develop shared ownership of the library and all it contains. 2. Thou shall have written annual objectives tied directly to school and curriculum goals and bend all thy efforts toward achieving them. 3. Thou shall take thy light out from under thy damn bushel and share with others all the wonders thou doest perform.
22. Johnson’s IT Department Mission Statement: Helping people solve problems with technology they didn’t have before there was technology.
23. Johnson’s Observation on Internet Resources: The one thing the Internet will never have that your library has - is you, the librarian.
24. Johnson’s Kid Law of Cool Technologies: A technology is no longer cool once adults adopt it. Therefore, no adults will ever use a cool technology.
25. Johnson’s Law of Searching: It’s easier to find something than to find it again.
26. Johnson’s Caution on Collaboration: Treat collaboration, not as a goal, but as a means of achieving one.
27. Johnson’s Test Fairness Plan: Require no high school tests that the adults who insist on them can’t pass.
28. Johnson’s Worry about NCLB: We are creating good test takers who hate learning.
29. Johnson’s Reflection on Library Quality: The quality of the library is never greater than the quality of the librarian.
30. Johnson’s Common Sense Economy: It’s cheaper to buy a book for the library than it is to buy one for each classroom.
31. Johnson’s Observation on the School of Hard Knocks: I don’t mind learning from my mistakes. I just don’t want to earn a PhD.
32. Johnson’s Drill Bit Rule: You don’t buy a drill bit because you want a drill bit; you buy it because you want a hole. You don’t buy technology because you want technology; you buy it because you want a more effective school.
33. Johnson’s Observation on Multimedia Content: You can put all the pretty clothes on your dog you want, but he’s still a dog.
34. Johnson’s Rule of Technology Neutrality: Tools are neither good nor bad. The same hammer can both break windows and build cathedrals.
35. Johnson’s Policy Mantra: Technicians do not make policy. Technicians do not make policy. Technicians do not make policy.
36. Johnson’s Observation on Visitors: The number of students in the media center is in inverse proportion to importance of anyone visiting.
37. Johnson’s Philosophy on Implementing Large Technology Systems: I’d rather be optimistic than right.
38. Johnson’s Observation of Policy Making: Rules only work with the rational.
39. Johnson’s First Rule of Change: Change is inevitable - except in human nature.
40. Johnson’s Second Rule of Change: Change is good - you go first.
41. Johnson’s Third Rule of Change: The dinosaurs were pleased with themselves right up to the time the meteor hit.
42. Johnson’s First Law of Effective Supervision: Hire people who don’t need to be supervised.
43. Johnson’s First Sign of Technology Literacy: Knowing when to use technology and when not to use technology.
44. Johnson’s Law of Network Capacity: You can’t be too thin, too rich or have too much bandwidth.
45. Johnson’s Law of Consultants: Go with the person, not the firm.
46. Johnson’s Rule of Projects: A project not worth doing, is not worth doing well.
47. Johnson’s First Law of Presentations: Show your audience pictures of happy, productive children and they will believe anything you tell them.
48. Johnson’s Second Law of Presentations: Audiences would rather see your face than your backside.
49. Johnson’s Third Law of Presentations: A misspelling in 48 point type is more noticeable than a misspelling in 12 point type.
50. Johnson’s Fourth Law of Presentations: PowerPoint doesn’t bore people. People bore people.
51. Johnson’s Rule of Technology Implementation: What technology first makes possible, it soon makes imperative.
52. Johnson’s Rule of Restructuring Education with Technology: Machines are the easy part; people are the hard part.
53. Johnson’s Law of Staff Development: We can no longer afford to only work with the living.
54. Johnson’s Antibiotic Law of Educational Change: If you can’t afford the whole cure, don’t even start it.
55. Johnson’s Law of Assessment: You’ll only get what you want if you can describe what you want.
56. Johnson’s Library Rule Rule: Never have more than three rules for your media center: 1. be doing something productive, 2. be doing it in a way that allows others to be productive, 3. be respectful of other people and their property.
57. Johnson’s Three Rules of Policy Writing: Never write a policy unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Never write a policy from scratch that you can borrow from someone else. Never write a policy that does not describe how it benefits your patrons.
58. Johnson’s Law of Taking Responsibility: Even when hiding feels better, don’t do it.
59. Johnson’s Law of Project Evaluation: Never evaluate a project during its first year of implementation.
60. Johnson’s Observation About the Importance of Teacher Quality: I’d rather my children had a great teacher with mediocre technology than a mediocre teacher with great technology.
61. Johnson’s Observation About the Importance of School Quality: There are great schools with poor teachers. There are great teachers in poor schools. Select the teacher, not the school, for your children.
62. Johnson’s Update of Aesop: The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on learning.
63. Johnson’s Homily on Beta Testing: The early worm gets eaten by the bird.
64. Johnson’s Technology Planning Rule: The stuff is not enough.
65. Johnson’s Relationship Advice to Children: Marry for wealth; repent in leisure.
66. Johnson’s Law of Stress Management: If you can’t find someone to pass the stress on to, you’re struck with it.

OK, I can only think of 66, Tim. Help me out.

Here are my Bicycling Lessons for the terminally bored. 

On this page are the collected "laws" of quite a few Blue Skunk Readers

Comments

[Tim Stahmer]

All good stuff, Doug. Although I would revise #66 to say "If you can’t find someone to pass the stress on to, it's probably not worth having in the first place.".

I'm not sure how much wisdom is to be taken from these, but here are some of my favorite thoughts that might fit on a list of old advice.

Number one rule for educators: you must be an optimist. If you don’t have a positive outlook on the future, why are you in a profession that’s all about building it?

Simple guide to understanding statistics: when reading about research, especially involving people, always ask “who paid for this?”. The answer will go a long way towards assessing the validity of the conclusions.

Three bits of advice I used to give new teachers (and our new tech specialists who were teaching teachers)
1. It’s not about you; it’s about them.
2. Knowing your students is far more important than knowing the curriculum.
3. Talk less, listen more.

[Doug Johnson]

These are all great! When I was a librarian, I used to warn students that there was bias in ALL writing and consider the source. I think it's interesting about how algorithms now can show bias. Good grief.

Take care and thanks for the response,

Doug