BFTP: A guide for new users of men's restrooms
Saturday, July 11, 2020 at 06:34AM 
Of all the non-issues that the our state legislature addressed, who pees in what bathroom seems to be one of the all time dumbest. Our roads are crumbling, our schools need funding, and our rivers and lakes are getting greener by the year. Yet our lawmakers are worried that the wrong person might, what, see something he or she ought not to see when using a bathroom? If I wanted this sort of legislative thinking I'd move to Texas or Wisconsin.
People should go wherever they please. Growing up a farm kid, the entire outdoors was pretty much a place to "take a leak." One modestly stood behind a tree or building or at least turned one's back if others were present. I believe my grandsons' potty training was successful in part because they found it more fun to pee outdoors at Grandpa's house on the lake than in their diapers (especially off the deck).
I still have no qualms about using a women's rest room (single use facility only) when some idiot seems to have taken up permanent residence in the men's room. My prostate is now 60+ years old and it sometimes lacks patience. I have been using the all-gender bathrooms at Macalester College when attending meetings there for nearly a year. I don't think doing so has done me any emotional damage.
So for anyone who reads this blog and does not regularly use men's restrooms (and for Minnesota legislators, I guess), let me describe a rigorous etiquette that I and most men follow, just so you commit no faux pas should you decide to use one:
- Never use a urinal directly beside one already in use (See the Urinal Test).
- Always look straight ahead or directly downward when at the urinals.
- Never, under any circumstance, talk to another person while urinating.
- Make as little commotion in the stalls as possible when doing other business.
- Courtesy flush when necessary
You're welcome for the guidance. And as far as I'm concerened, you are welcome to use the men's room. Just don't take up permanent residence in a stall when there's a line.
Oh, I am not aware of similar laws governing the use of women's or unisex bathrooms, other than put the seat back down and aim precisely. Guidance?
An aside: At the local YMCA the men's and women's locker rooms are side-by-side and their entrances look exactly the same except for the small placard indicating the gender to which they have been assigned. I've caught myself on more than one ocassion nearly entering the wrong locker room by accident. This happened to an older woman one winter when she came full bore right into the men's locker room by mistake, where as usual, there were a bunch of us old farts in various states of undress. The woman was horrified and her plight was made even worse when a geezer near the entrance stood up buck naked and turned to her and asked gruffly, "See anything you like, baby?" I'm guessing that the poor woman may still be plagued by nightmares.
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Just when I thought you were all out of surprises -