Should you win the lottery, do you have a plan?

The billboard along I35 somewhere in Iowa informed drivers that a lottery was currently worth $377 million dollars.

“What would you even do with that much money if you won?” asked my friend Heidi.

It’s funny because one of the things I do when I can’t get to sleep is count how I would spend a windfall of money (rather than sheep). A big windfall. And I’ve been doing this for enough years that I think I have a pretty good plan.

Good plans are important for lottery winners. It’s pretty well established that winning a lottery (or I suppose inheriting a fortune) can destroy people’s lives just as likely as improve them. Google “lottery winners who lost it all” and a long list of articles detailing the sad experiences of individuals whose lives tanked after the big win appears. Broken marriages, bad financial decisions costing millions, even contract killings by greedy relatives all seem pretty common. Who’d a thunk? 

So here is my plan, at least until the next time I have trouble sleeping:

1. Provide financial security of my personal loved ones. For each of my family members and close personal friends, current and past, I could establish annuities that would give each about $4000 a month into perpetuity. I settled on that amount since it is enough to keep a roof over one’s head and food on the table without it being so much that it would be a disincentive to work. It could be added to a current income to provide nicer vacations, fund children’s educations, buy that cabin, save for retirement, etc. I’m a believer of UBI so this would be my version of it.

2. Endow two scholarships to two library schools. I would establish two endowments each for the University of Iowa and Minnesota State University, Mankato library schools for full ride scholarships for library grad school. These would be enough to cover tuition, fees, materials, AND room and board for all four recipients. At each school, one recipient would need to be BIPOC. 

3. Fund an executive director position for the state school library association. I would create a fund that paid $100,000 per year to create a job that would help run the state’s school library association (currently ITEM). This person would write the newsletter, communicate with other professional education and library organizations, recruit new members, organize lobbying efforts, conduct surveys, manage conferences and workshops, and maintain the club records. The board would supervise and most of the work would still be done by members. If the membership numbers dropped below a certain level, the position would be eliminated. 

4. Establish endowments for my favorite local libraries. The Sac City Public Library, the Blue Earth County Library, and the Dakota County Library would all be beneficiaries of my gratitude for the services they have provided me and my family through the years. The gifts would be large enough that the interest alone should greatly increase their materials and programming budgets.

5. Piss the rest away. Yes, I would spend some of my winnings on myself. Maybe a modest house on a lake, a small pickup truck, more exotic vacations. Maybe a new recliner to replace my current 20-year-old model. But I really don’t have a ton of desire for material objects at this point in my life. And I don’t care how rich I was, I’d still buy cheap wine.

I’ve never had a lot of respect for rich people who act rich. I don’t need a space shuttle or a mansion or a limo or a seaside villa or expensive watch. The accoutrements of wealth seem mostly like a lot of work. I guess money is really wasted on lazy people like me. But maybe someday I will actually buy a lottery ticket* to test the theory.

And how would you spend your $377,000,000?

*I’ve always thought of the lottery as a tax on the mathematically challenged...

Comments

[GregU]

I too have done those dream-plans. Realistically, taking the lower amount lump sum from a $377M jackpot and then paying the taxes to US & MN leaves maybe $125M to actually play with. Still plenty to help lots of people and entities!

[Doug Johnson]

Hi Greg,

Only 120 million? Hardly worth the effort of buying a ticket! 

Doug