Family scatterings, family gatherings

Son and father

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ― George Burns

When I was growing up in the 1950’s and 60’s, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all lived within about a 20 mile radius of my home. Despite having about a thousand great aunts, great uncles, and cousins (thanks to my grandfather having six siblings), I got to know pretty much all of them in my childhood. We played together, attended family dinners together, and seemed to attend a lot of picnics together. We baled hay and shelled corn together. We celebrated holidays and birthdays together. On Fathers’ Day, my grandmother had everyone over to eat strawberry shortcake - the strawberries freshly picked from her large patch behind the farm house.

But starting with my generation, many relatives moved away from the family farms and businesses where they were raised. We started attending college. Corporate farming reduced the number of small farms needing labor. My hometown's population shrunk from 3200 people to 2600. I’ve not lived in my hometown for over fifty years. My own children are now in Georgia and Kansas, many hours from my adopted state of Minnesota. We just don’t marry the boy or girl next door anymore.

My family being geographically diverse made the past week very special - two family reunions.

A second cousin decided that we needed a “Johnson Family Reunion.” Invited were all those descendents of Great-grandpa Adolph Johnson’s seven children as well as the descendants of the two sisters of his second wife. Last Saturday, over 50 people attended a picnic in a small county park’s picnic shelter.

As far as I can remember, this was the first big family get together since my grandfather’s 95th birthday celebration - over 20 years ago. My sister-in-law prepared a great buffet, people brought photos and other mementos from the past, and a cousin brought printouts of family histories and memoirs. People traveled from as far away as both the east and west coasts and as far south at Texas and Arizona. (Ironically a few of the local relatives did not attend.) The 90th birthdays of three attendees, including my mother, were recognized as were the 70th birthdays of my cousin and me. I probably visited with 20% of the people there. On the street, I may have only recognized a half dozen. It was an interesting day. Police did not have to be called.

The second “family reunion” was even better as far as I was concerned. My son and daughter and their families joined my friend Heidi and me for a few days of biking, theater-going, tubing and touring in Lanesboro, MN. While not as rare as a whole Johnson family reunion, to be able to spend time with both my kids and their spouses and BOTH grandsons is getting more and more difficult. Families get busy with work and other obligations. The grandsons have work and school commitments. Hours-long drives and COVID have made getting together challenging.

But we did.

It’s common to give age groups generational names. Around the table in the photo above, you have:

• 2 Baby Boomers
• 2 Gen Xers
• 2 Millennials
• 2 Gen Zs

Amazingly, we all get along very well and I love learning the different perspectives, tastes, and concerns that may be generationally driven.

But what seems to trump generational divides is that we all share many common values: a concern for others; politeness; generosity; humor; a sense of adventure; good educations; and political moderation. Our hugs are sincere.

I would love it if we were all living closer together and seeing each other on a more regular basis. But the silver lining of the cloud of distance is just how special family reunions actually are. My family is a blessing I need to count more often.

Comments

[Joy]

Yes, family reunions are special and rare these days. Last Thanksgiving was the last time my husband I were together with both of our sons and their families. I miss them, but it’s very pleasant to think about that wonderful time together. I hope we can have more time together. Time seems so precious as you get older.
Thanks for your post.

[Doug Johnson]

Hi Joy,

Glad the post resonated with you and hope you get many more chances to get together with your family.

Doug