Fashion pointers
Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 09:10AM Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
It must be something that kicks in with geezerdom, but I've been bothered a lot more lately by people who are badly dressed who should know better. I am not complaining about kids (now defined as anyone under 30). Their low-riding drawers are the fashion equivilant of my bell-bottom jeans of the 60s and 70s. One should accept that all young people are fashion idiots and that every generation should have embarassing photos from youth.
I am addressing the gwoen-up guys I see at conferences, at church services, well, just generally in public. These pointers cost little or nothing and would make my environment much more attractive:
- Wear a damn belt. It and your shoes should match. (The shoes should match each other as well as the belt.) Reversible belts are a heck of a deal.
- Buy your pants with a waist size big enough that you don't need to make the below or above the belly decision. Pants go across the belly.
- Your socks should match your pants, not your shoes.
- Don't wear brown shoes with black pants.
- The bottom of your tie should just cover your belt buckle. If it's too long you look like a pervert; too short you look like a car salesman.
- Don't let your tie's design be the most memorable thing about you.
- No hats indoors. Especially those with earflaps. A baseball cap being clean does not make it formal wear.
- If the color of a sports jacket doesn't occur in nature, leave it in the store.
- When in doubt, it's better to over dress than under dress for any occasion. You can always take off the ties and jacket too keep from looking too much like a stick.
- Ask your wife's opinion and then actually listen to it.
I only have one fashion tip for women (formulated after attending a wedding recently). If you are wearing a strapless dress, figure out some way (duct tape?) to feel secure in it instead of reaching under your arm pits and tugging it up every five minutes. You're breaking the hearts of all us dirty old men who are praying for gravity to win.
A fashion bonus tip (thanks M.A. Bell):
Reader Comments (30)
ESPECIALLY #3!! That is a major pet-peeve of mine. When my husband is looking at or trying on pants and seriously considering them, I tell him to PLEASE walk right over to the soc display and get a pair or two of socks to go with them. His navy socks worn with khaki pants nearly drives me to drink. I also have friends who know this about me and will walk up to me and teasingly lift my trouser leg enough to see if my socks match the pants. Add to your #3 that zany socks with plaid or other designs need to be more the right color than the complimentary or zany design color. Argg...
For women, if your cleavage is continuously at risk, dang wear a cami or duct tape the shirt closed as well.
On the other hand, if your district techs or maintenance folks are men, and you need something worked on, make sure to make them WANT to come back. Make their visit innocently memorable. LOL.
"The bottom of your tie should just cover your belt buckle. If it's too long you look like a pervert; too short you look like a car salesman." Haha, very well put.
http://LifeisNothingWithoutStyle.com
Add for both genders that underwear should remain under the outer clothing at all times! I'm always amazed/appalled at conferences when folks are lugging heavy items or sitting on the floor in an overcrowded breakout session and their position and posture allow/force those nearby to see the color/fabric/brand of their undergarb... shudder. (and how often is it the young, trim folks? nearly never!) Both Lands End & Duluth Trading have ladies tank tops with wide-enough straps and so on.
Here's another one - navy blue shoes never really match your navy blue suit/skirt/dress/slacks. I finally gave up on navy entirely and let black be my "new black."
OMG this was too funny. The Plumbers crack was great too.
Jane says .... and NO walk shorts and sandals.
...and of course I listen to ALL her fashion advice! One of the rules of a married man. lol
cheers
Greg
I thinks Greg should have say it is "She who must be obeyed!"
I'd like to add one for women.
Your panty hose should never be darker than your shoes. No black hose with white shoes!!!
The men I work with usually match their socks to their tie... and those in the wacky world of Wall Street usually use the design as the only "exciting" part of their outfit.
As for the underwear as outerwear issue, I blame Madonna. And it's not just the pudgies, thin young'uns often have their bra straps showing *all* the time. Perhaps it's better than seeing their thongs, but not by much.
One always interesting area for debate is the issue of faculty dress. I had a grad professor who barked constantly that if teachers want to be treated like professionals they should stop dressing like they are going to play kickball. I work at a private school and we are required to wear a minimum of a shirt and a tie. Formal dress for woman is a little more vague? Any thoughts on the subject?
Charlie, our school's dress code for female faculty includes "No Jeans" and "No Open Back Shoes" (we get one visible ear piercing, but no more and no tattoos). Occasionally, they've had to send an e-mail reminding people about too-tight/too-short clothes.
Hi folks,
I certainly appreciate all the additional advice. Always astounded (and rather pleased) by the reaction to this silly posts.
I would only take issue with a few comments left,
Janice, your rule about pantyhose should apply to men as well as women. The BS tries to be gender fair.
For those of you dislike undergarments showing, please understand that there are dirty old men who more or less live for the sort of excitement the glimpse of whale tail can give.
And Charlie, while I think it is admirable that your school requires a shirt and tie, I'd probably add pants to faculty dress code as well. But then maybe that is just me.
Thanks for the fun everyone!
Doug
Sounds like you've been influenced by our new friend, Don Mills (http://crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com/). He's got some good fashion tips for the youguns. I have one more piece of advice: if your cell phone won't fit in a pocket or purse, then don't carry it. Those chunky things on your hip look silly. Not cool, not professional, just dorky. I'm just sayin...
Visible panty/drawers line. Buy some pants that fit!
If the pants are light colored, or heaven help you, white, please plan your drawers accordingly...
My favorite observation - business casual is not synonymous with 'clean your garage' casual. If you wash your car, mow your lawn, go to the gym in the item, it shouldn't be worn to work. Unless you work at a car wash or lawn service.
I'm fine with open back/open toe shoes for women, but there's also a fine line between beach flip flops and presentable sandals for either sex. And please leave the crocs at home.
I guess since you mentioned men should ask their wives when in doubt, you are assuming all gay men have fashion sense. Don't assume that. Men should ask their wives or their husbands or if they are single, they should ask a friend.
You're a jerk. Excuse me, but "Ask your wife's opinion..." is clearly a gendered comment. (I refuse to address your other gender-specific comments.) Not all men have a wife nor should they feel as if they have to be heteronormative, and you should focus your energy on the creativity, productivity and initiative of your colleagues NOT on how they present themselves.
I love seeing an overdressed egomaniac in the sea of hipsters or other marginal groups, because it makes me realize for once this person [performing the social norm] might understand what it feels like to be a social minority. Trust me, the youth of today who are learning to become socially aware and information literate adults are more apt to pay attention to the content being addressed by the person most likely not to wear khakis. People like you make me really embarrassed for my profession.
Alex,
Really? No. Really? You went all the way over to "embarrassed for my profession"? Lighten up.
For real.
Right on target.
You didn't even have to go into the "no shorts" (men who do don't have a mother or wife or sister to advise them that shorts don't work except for picnics and athletic events). Yours is a real contribution to the blogosphere when ALA picks it up.
*The crotch of the trousers should not be at knee-level.
*Shoes that lace should be. (And tied, too.)
*Rear patch pockets on women's trousers/shorts/pants are generally NOT flattering. Especially when said pockets have flaps and buttons.
Wish you the best in making a dent in the library profession's somewhat tasteless sense of fashion. When I tried a few years ago (And We Wonder About Our Image! By: Herring, Mark Y., American Libraries, 00029769, Nov2000, Vol. 31, Issue 10) I got little more than bricks and bottles! Why are we so hard-headed about this?! Here's a snippet from my peice almost a decade ago:
I guess it has a lot to do with the culture nowadays, or lack thereof. Young people rarely walk about without towing six-liter Pepsis or Cokes. And that's not just to class, or to the library, or around town: It's everywhere. (Note to rising generations: If you're young and bright and thinking about a career, put all your eggs in a urology diploma. I know several million Generation Xers who'll put you on easy street in about two decades.) Somewhere along the line Miss Manners was assassinated and no one bothered to find who did it or why. Instead, slobbism has taken over the world and librarians are leading the way. Instead of GQ we should come out with a magazine called P-U.