The anti-goal year

Today is a day on which I have nothing on my calendar. I will go to the Y for a couple hours. I need to buy a few perishables at the grocery store. I have a presentation to review for an upcoming conference. I should water my flowers. But there is nothing that says I need to be in a certain place by a certain time - or actually get anything done.

Honestly, I struggle with days like these.

I've now been retired for a bit over two months. I've travelled, completed some household projects, visited family, done a bit of writing, and stepped up my exercise routine. What "work" I've done has been for some volunteer organizations of which I am a member.

On more than one occasion I've started looking at job postings. I am approved as a substitute teacher (but have taken no jobs.) I've been asked to teach online for a local university. But I resist. 

As much as I am uncomfortable with the blank days on my calendar, I am doing my best to keep the promise to myself of a year of living irresponsibly. During this year, the first after 45+ years of consecutive fulltime employment, I've pledged not feel obligated to work. Or to volunteer. Or to accomplish anything. Or to set or hold myself accountable to goals. I will follow my "Rules for Retirement" and entertain some challenges (see next post), but I will not allow myself to feel guilty for being "non-productive." This has been more difficult than one might think.

For a number of years now, I have also felt that I should step back from opining about professional questions and problems and to let a younger set tackle them with new eyes and new enthusiasm. I worry "wisdom" is overrated. That being said, I do have an article in T-L coming out and I am speaking at a couple conferences. 

I have never really understood monks, priests, yogis, etc. who made their work mediation and reflection. But I have come to realize there is an art to doing nothing. When you do not have your work to define you, what does? Perhaps work for many of us has been simply a means of keeping from having to live with ourselves, to reflect too deeply?

Most of the other retirees I meet seem happy, content, and rather busy. I have yet to discover their secret. 

Comments

[Jim]

Your wisdom is never overrated.