BFTP: Benefit of the doubt

I thought of this old post when I saw a lady wheeling a cart crammed full of toilet paper and Mountain Dew down the aisle of the grocery store last week. I caught myself not following my own advice below...

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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Plato

I once walked out of a hotel and I saw this SUV parked in a compact car parking spot:

 

The note taped to the hood read:

We've all had thoughts similar (well, I have anyway). Where does this dork get off parking in a spot reserved for a smaller car? That person strolling into the mall - why does he/she merit a handicapped license plate?* Is that person in the grocery store just ahead of me really buying a steak with food stamps? Why does the kid wearing $100 sneakers qualify for a reduced price school lunch? Isn't that paper too good not to be plagiarized? The light is green already - get off your damn cell phone!

But as I thought about the note on the car above, I could easily imagine a dozen reasons a person might squeeze a big vehicle into a small spot in order to be close to the door. Sick kid? Bad foot? Late for important meeting? Big load to carry into the hotel? Great-grandma came along? Only spot in the ramp left? Permission from management?

Or it could just be cussed laziness. Point is, why should we assume bad intentions? Why not assume good reasons?

Seems we do this as a species a lot, especially with kids and the less affluent. Presume guilt instead of innocence. Forget Hanlon's Razor (Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity) when somebody screws up. 

Lighten up. Presume innocence, stupidity, or as often as not, a rational explanation. You'll be happier with the human race - and yourself.

* This comment was left on the original post:

This one I take to heart. I can walk into a mall sometimes just like anyone else. However, I have a handicap tag. I look "normal" and perfectly capable of walking. Today at the grocery store, someone mentioned to someone else that it was "ridiculous that anyone could get one of those tags these days." "Anyone can't." And while I may look like there is nothing wrong with me, that 30 minute trip to the grocery can often take me 4 hours to get over. I have syringomyelia. I don't always look handicapped, but trust me, I always feel it. You can read about my SM here... http://propensitytodiscuss.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/syringomyelia/

Thank you so much for acknowledging that sometimes what we see is not always the full story. Walking into a mall may be OK, but the pain from too much time there is almost unbearable. Thank you for acknowledging that sometimes it is best to give the benefit of the doubt.

                                                                                                                 Original post November 10, 2014

We've all had thoughts similar (well, I have anyway). Where does this dork get off parking in a spot reserved for a smaller car? That person strolling into the mall - why does he/she merit a handicapped license plate?* Is that person in the grocery store just ahead of me really buying a steak with food stamps? Why does the kid wearing $100 sneakers qualify for a reduced price school lunch? Isn't that paper too good not to be plagiarized? The light is green already - get off your damn cell phone!

But as I thought about the note on the car above, I could easily imagine a dozen reasons a person might squeeze a big vehicle into a small spot in order to be close to the door. Sick kid? Bad foot? Late for important meeting? Big load to carry into the hotel? Great-grandma came along? Only spot in the ramp left? Permission from management?

Or it could just be cussed laziness. Point is, why should we assume bad intentions? Why not assume good reasons?

Seems we do this as a species a lot, especially with kids and the less affluent. Presume guilt instead of innocence. Forget Hanlon's Razor (Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity) when somebody screws up. 

Lighten up. Presume innocence, stupidity, or as often as not, a rational explanation. You'll be happier with the human race - and yourself.

* This comment was left on the original post:

This one I take to heart. I can walk into a mall sometimes just like anyone else. However, I have a handicap tag. I look "normal" and perfectly capable of walking. Today at the grocery store, someone mentioned to someone else that it was "ridiculous that anyone could get one of those tags these days." "Anyone can't." And while I may look like there is nothing wrong with me, that 30 minute trip to the grocery can often take me 4 hours to get over. I have syringomyelia. I don't always look handicapped, but trust me, I always feel it. You can read about my SM here... http://propensitytodiscuss.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/syringomyelia/

Thank you so much for acknowledging that sometimes what we see is not always the full story. Walking into a mall may be OK, but the pain from too much time there is almost unbearable. Thank you for acknowledging that sometimes it is best to give the benefit of the doubt.

                                                                                                                 Original post November 10, 2014