BFTP: Tough love and logical consequences
Sunday, July 26, 2020 at 08:21AM 
This once came across my Facebook feed and I shared it on Twitter. On first blush, I was wholly sympathetic to this school's policy that stressed personal responsibility, logical consequences, and real-world problem-solving.
Then I read this interesting response to the sign:
Hmmmmm. So on whom is tough love, tough? Ian seems to think that it's as tough on the teachers as it is on the kids.
Is there any way to make a school culture work for both the students and the teaching staff when it comes to personal responsibility? How rigid should such a policy actually be? Is the school being cruel to be kind - or just being cruel?
Theoretically at least, asking students to be responsible for their lunches, books, homework, etc. is in their best interest. To avoid the logical consequence of hunger when forgetting one's lunch may cause the child to be less forgetful the next day. This assumes that the adolescent brain is capable of making the connection between yesterday's hunger and today's lunch bag - which is a big assumption.
Yet, if we follow the logic of the Mr. Hecht in his Tweet, the boy's teachers will also suffer from a hungry kid in class. According to the American Diabetes Association, the symptoms of hypoglycemia include:
- Shakiness
- Nervousness or anxiety
- Sweating, chills and clamminess
- Irritability or impatience
- Confusion, including delirium
- Rapid/fast heartbeat
- Lightheadedness or dizziness
- Hunger and nausea
- Sleepiness
- Blurred/impaired vision
- Tingling or numbness in the lips or tongue
- Headaches
- Weakness or fatigue
- Anger, stubbornness, or sadness
- Lack of coordination
- Nightmares or crying out during sleep
- Seizures
- Unconsciousness
And their onset is rapid. Not exactly the reactions of a child ready to learn. Of course, skipping lunch will not result in hypoglycemia for all students, but there will be negative effects from any student who has not eaten lunch.
And quite honestly, I, as an adult, have on occasion have had to ask someone to help me when I have been forgetful. The real world has kindness in it as well.
Interested in reader reactions.
Reader Comments (5)
I used to be a proponent of tough love, but now I have reconsidered and accept the opposing stance that everyone needs help at one time or another. Now, when confronted with situations like this, I ask myself this: "Is there a way for the student to learn responsibility without getting a "C for lateness" on this homework?" I'd rather choose a consequence that teaches, such as - show me your checklist - rather than jeopardizing class ranking. Analogous to reforming a criminal, rather than just locking him up and throwing away the key. I know what you're thinking - I'm a helicopter parent.
I would agree that the lunch needs to be provided, but anything else should be considered part of the educational process. True, I teach middle and high school students - so I might adjust with younger students.
This actually might be a great opportunity for other students to show compassion and empathy (as far as school supplies).
I personally have always accepted any work a student has done, although for less credit.
Cheryl,
No, I don't think you are a helicopter parent. I think you are compassionate and favor growth over punishment. I'm in your camp.
Doug
Kenn,
I like your "it's not an either or or" approach.
Doug
So if we follow this logic out, should I stop supplying libraries with loaner laptops, extra chargers and mice for when teachers leave theirs at home and instead just give them a sign that tells the teacher to go “problem solve”?
Hi Bradford,
Yeah, you'd probably get a little pushback on that! Great point.
Doug