I like funerals

My first cousin Mike, me, and my second cousin Neal at Great Aunt Ella Bell's funeral in Nemaha, Iowa, May 23, 2014

Yes, it sounds callous to say such a thing, but I really do like funerals. 

They are, of course, a time of great grief for friends and family of the deceased. A time to mourn the passing of one who was loved, admired, or simply held in firm friendship. The funerals of those who die young, die unexpectedly, die accidentally are less than happy events.

But funerals are also a time of joy. On a selfish level, funerals offer me a chance to see people I like but do not see on a regular basis. For some members of my family, a funeral is the only time I see them. Same for colleagues of previous jobs. It's a wonderful time not just to reminisce about the person who just died, but reminisce in general - most often about good times - and get caught up on each others' lives.

Good services, good eulogies, help everyone remember the best of person whose life is being honored. I don't think I ever attended a funeral where I didn't learn something new (and positive) about the guest of honor. The words of my second cousin still move me when, in eulogizing his father, my great-uncle, he stated that his father had never lost his temper with him, never said a harsh word, never yelled - despite deserving it many times. It made me think about my own parenting techniques.

Sadly/happily, I put on my "weddings and funerals" suit* this past week to attend the service of a fellow who worked with me in the school technology department for about 20 years. He was well-liked, well-respected, and over a dozen current and former co-workers attended the ceremony. It was wonderful to hug and say "hi" to these folks I've not interacted with for about seven years. But it was also quite wonderful to hear about the personal side, the family side, of this quiet, competent fellow. I recognize now just what a small slice of the man I knew. Sadly, he died too young. Happily, he died well loved.

Next time you have to put on your funeral clothes, mourn the loss. But remember to find the joy as well.

* I was over dressed. I guess people just don't wear coats and ties anymore to church.