Raising children who are better people than you are

I still read the police log in my old “hometown” newspaper. It was a habit to scan the section just to make sure my son’s name was not in it. The reason? Because I had once appeared in my own hometown’s police log, and as they say, the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree…

In 1970 I celebrated my 18th birthday with my coworkers from the Trojan Seed Corn plant where I had a summer job. One fellow, Jim, was in his early 20s and bought a case of beer which four of us drank as he drove us around town. When the beer was gone, Jim parked in an alley behind a bar and, obviously drunk, tried to get the bar to sell him more beer. Instead, the bartender called the cops who arrived shortly after, blocking the alley entrance. The problem with drinking on my 18th birthday was that Iowa law required one to be 21 before you could drink booze of any kind so I was ticketed for underage drinking, fined $35 by the Justice of the Peace, and released. I walked back to my truck, still parked at work, and drove home to the farm. Probably still under the influence.

A week later, my dad said that he read about me in the Sac Sun, the weekly town newspaper. Seems my arrest made the police log. He said that from then on, I needed to be home by 10. I replied that I was 18 and didn’t have to follow his rules anymore. He said as long as I was living in his house, I had to follow his rules. I moved out the next day, spending the rest of the summer sleeping in an old house some buddies rented to practice as a rock and roll band. While there was an outhouse, there was no running water, so I took a long dip in a gravel pit after work everyday. I was off to college a few weeks later.

I don’t think fathers should be celebrated on Father’s Day, rather the children they may have helped raise - especially children who turned out to be better people than they themselves are. I am one of those fortunate dads who really doesn't have to skim the police log. My two adult children are:

• Loving and caring
• Emotionally stable
• Physically healthy
• In good relationships
• Wonderful spouses and parents
• Financially independent
• Engaged in rewarding occupations
• Have a sense of adventure
• Still talking to their dad

I suspect most parents would do some things differently had they a “do-over” button for raising children - more time spent, more encouragement in different types of activities, better listening skills, more attention to healthy eating and exercise, etc. But for many of us, our children turned out to be quite wonderful people, despite rather than because, of our efforts.

Dads, celebrate your kids today. I will be.