My AI guardian angel

Blog post from May 31, 2033

The voice of Hallie comes softly but clearly from just behind my left shoulder. She is my AI guardian angel. A Christmas gift from my children. At the ripe old age of 80, my children support me living independently, but worry about my cognitive abilities. Did I mention this was a Christmas gift from my children?

Replacing the “medical alert” bracelet that my mother’s generation wore for their personal safety, Hallie is a small implant* that uses my five senses and wirelessly connects to the larger datasphere. She of course will notify authorities should I fall or have a stroke, but she also guides me in other areas. Here are a few “suggestions” I was given just today…

• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you should not leave your keys there. You are unlikely to locate them tomorrow since this is not where you usually store them.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but this is your third glass of wine this evening. Your physician recommends no more than two 4 oz glasses per day. 
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you don’t really need to buy that shirt from Amazon. You currently own twelve shirts that are quite similar and which show little wear.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you should be dropping lower when you do these squats. You are not getting the full benefit of the exercise.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you have not called your children for over two weeks now. You should be calling them to assure them you are OK.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you should not eat that. It has been in the refrigerator for over a week and tastes as though some bacteria may be present which could cause diarrhea. 
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but shouldn’t you be reading something with a bit more content than the latest Jack Reacher thriller (his 96th now written by Lee Child’s granddaughter.) You only have so many years of reading left.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but the stock you are about to purchase has had mixed reviews on its expected yield. Inflation has left you with few discretionary dollars.
• I’m sorry, Douglas, but you have been sitting in your recliner now for three hours. You have enough dirty clothes to justify a load of laundry. I suggest you run the washing machine.

Hallie, shut up.

• I’m sorry, Douglas, I can’t do that.

I don’t know about you, but I have the audio turned off on GoogleMaps. I don’t use Siri or GoogleVoice or other voice-activated devices. I don’t really trust the auto-braking feature of the cruise control in my car. 

But I expect the monitored and guided life provided by sophisticated AI will become common, if not mandatory, for folks of a certain age or with diagnosed mental impairments of one kind or another. Did I mention Hallie was a Christmas gift from my children?

Ah, AI. I am still wondering if you will be more like HAL or like C3PO. 

*Neuralink: Elon Musk's brain chip firm wins US approval for human study BBC News May 27, 2023 <https://www.bbc.com/news/health-65717487>