Why Robots Are the Best Employees by Kathy Sierra (2006)
- They don't challenge the status quo
- They don't ask those uncomfortable questions
- They're 100% obedient
- They don't need "personal" days.
- ... because they don't have a personal life
- They never make the boss look bad (e.g. stupid, incompetent, clueless, etc.)
- They dress and talk the way you want them to
- They have no strongly-held opinions
- They have no passion, so they have nothing to "fight" for
- They are always willing to do whatever it takes (insane hours, etc.)
- They are the ultimate team players
- They don't complain when you micromanage (tip: micromanaging is in fact one of the best ways to create a robot)
- They don't care what their workspace is like, and don't complain if they don't have the equipment they need
- They'll never threaten your job
- They make perfect scapegoats
- They get on well with zombies
I think we can all agree that Kathy Sierra's observations about robots being the best employees holds true for teachers as employees in general, but there are some additional, specific reasons that teachers especially ought to be more robotic.
So why do robots especially make the best teachers?
- They always follow the mandated curriculum (and love the Common Core).
- They let nothing get in the way of good test scores.
- They give no special treatment to individual students.
- They have no special passions that take away time from teaching the basics.
- The do not tolerate ambiguity - only right and wrong.
- They never laugh, never get mad, never show excitement, never use sarcasm.
- They are easily programmed by politicians.
- They never break their computers, demand an IWB, or let their students use their iPads.
- They pay attention during meetings.
- They don't to be away from class for staff development activities.
- Their grades and lesson plans are always in on time.
- They work well with robot students.
When robots take over the world, we can all just relax.